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Love is in the air with thousands of brides and grooms exchanging vows today, promising an everlasting union. Some will make it, many won’t. Once the wedding party is over and the honeymoon tan faded, relationship reality bites; and for nearly half of all married couples their future has divorce written all over it. As nearlyweds it can be easy to get carried away planning dream nuptials, however making Mr. and Mrs. last longer is about focusing…
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How often do you wonder if you are good enough? Good enough as an employee, parent, child, friend, or spouse? When you look around, perhaps you evaluate yourself against those around you and simply wonder if you are falling short somewhere. Are your kids as happy as the neighbor’s children? Do you spend enough time with your aging parents? Are you satisfying your partner enough? Sometimes these are thoughts that plague us all day, chipping away at…
Read MoreCouples too often split soon after infidelity, before considering alternatives or attempting to repair the relationship. (Continue reading … )
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As a couples therapist, I fairly regularly talk to romantic partners about the different ways they feel distant from one another. Sometimes it is sexually, other times it is about a mismatch in coparenting styles, but mostly couples simply say they do not feel “intimate” anymore. For almost all couples, there was at some point in their relationship an intimate connection. Usually if we delve into this we discover that, in the beginning of the relationship, both…
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Most everyone has been hurt by others at some point in their lives; hurt or abuse can be physical, verbal, emotional, or sexual. Very few, if any of us, are exempt from a variety of situations that cause us pain. Some people have managed to move on from these situations; even major transgressions like physical or sexual abuse have been forgiven, but there are others who nurture the pain, who can’t forgive despite knowing that it might…
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We’ve all heard how beneficial it is to forgive those who have done us wrong, and we have been told time and again that we can’t really move on unless we have forgiven them. However, we all know that forgiving someone is easier said than done. Resentment is something that we find easy to hold on to; no matter how long ago it had happened, it would always remain fresh in our mind. Definition: Resentment Resentment is…
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When someone we love – a partner, friend, coworker, or family member – dies, the aftermath can be one of the most challenging experiences of our life. Indeed, when someone you care about it taken away, it can bring about a difficult grieving process that, although natural, can feel hopeless, scary, lonely, and painful. Whether sudden or a long dying process, the death of a loved one can feel like one of the most overwhelming experiences we…
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Expectations are attitudes and behaviors that we expect from other people. We are taught – explicitly and implicitly – that there are standards of behaviors, what we call the norms, when it comes to how we should treat each other. We see it being modeled in our family, and we also see it in school, in our community and the workplace, on TV and other media including the Internet. It’s normal to have expectations for all of…
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If you’ve ever had your heart broken, you know how painful it can be. There are times when the pain is so bad it becomes physical. Memories of happy times pop up uninvited anytime during the day, making you feel really sad and alone. One day you may feel ok, but then you wake up in the middle of the night badly missing your ex. The yearning can be intense. It may be hard to believe now,…
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You’ve been hurt badly – by a spouse, a family member, a friend. What they did left a lasting effect on you. Sometimes you don’t know how you have survived the hurt and the pain; there are even times where you’re not sure that you have survived it. You talk about what happened to your spiritual adviser, your therapist, your support system, and one thing they may tell you is to forgive the offender. ‘Forgive and you…
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