Blog Archives

A significant part of couple therapy involves improving self-awareness. Because you cannot fix a problem until you are aware of its source, it is important to understand what drives you so you can better control your subconscious impulses. For example, people develop survival strategies during interpersonal conflict in an effort to protect oneself from a perceived threat. Common survival strategies include defensiveness, withdrawal, or counterattack. Partners are often unaware of these impulses in the moment and naturally…

Every couple will be faced with the challenge of forgiveness. Many times, forgiveness will be required for small conflicts, such as forgetting to start the dishwasher or booking the wrong flight. Other times, partners will be asked to forgive larger betrayals, such as verbal abuse or an affair. Whether for big or small hurts, forgiveness is essential for healthy relationship repair and sustainability. Forgiveness does not just benefit the relationship but the forgiver as well. Holding on…

You have said, “I do,” signed the marriage license, and perhaps even celebrated your wedding with family and friends. With all the hard work of planning and executing a wedding behind you, now is the time to sit back, relax, and enjoy life as a married couple, right? The truth, of course, is that this picture of newly wedded bliss does not come close to the reality that nearly all couples face as they embark on their…

There are numerous stereotypes about love, relationships, and marriage, and some of them have formed into broadly shared myths. Unfortunately, couples can be led astray by myths that promote unhealthy relationship habits or prevent partners from adopting healthier styles of relating. Often in therapy, I work with couples to break down commonly held myths so that partners can increase their awareness and take control of developing a more satisfying relationship. Here are some of the most common…

Sexual desire naturally fluctuates, but many partners and couples struggle to accept the inevitable fall in sexual frequency and desire following the initial romantic love stage of a relationship. Sexual desire often comes willingly and easily in the early stages of a relationship, and many couples are left unprepared to initiate more active efforts to maintain desire and sexual fulfillment in later phases of a long-term partnership. As a result, too many partners feel undesired and fall…

Behavior plans are commonly thought of as something specifically for children with ADHD, but they can actually be useful for any child with behavior problems or difficulty focusing on or remembering tasks. A behavior plan is basically a system of requirements and rewards- if your child performs the required tasks, then they can earn something of value to them. The point of this is that you focus on and reward the positive behaviors your child displays while ignoring the negative ones that you would like to stop.