Blog Archives

The holidays are advertised as a time of happiness, reconnection, and general good cheer, but this is not the case for everyone. High expectations may lead to disappointment, and stress circulates around trying to get everything to be just right. Others do not have a home to return to for the holidays, and this time of year can trigger intense feelings of loneliness. Whether you plan to spend time with family, friends, or yourself this year, there…

The threat of monotony is present in many things, such as work, living alone, and also in long-term relationships. When you have been with the same person for several years, you tend to know him or her pretty well, including both positive and less attractive quirks. You may find that you have less exciting things to talk about, or you no longer crave to hear about the details of your partner’s day. Due to external stresses and…

Therapists talk a lot about the importance of open communication to cultivate and maintain a healthy relationship. One of the most common negative communication styles that can constrain a relationship is passive-aggression. Passive-aggression is the indirect expression of negative feelings. It is often a coping mechanism for feeling powerless or ashamed, and it is rarely a conscious choice to behave negatively.

We are entering that time of year where couples start to make plans for how they will spend the holidays, and this can spark conflict between partners. Depending on the length of the relationship, emotional ties to the holidays, and location of family, partners can find themselves with vastly different expectations and desires for how to spend time together over the holidays. Newlyweds may be struck with how difficult it is to navigate this time of year…

A significant part of couple therapy involves improving self-awareness. Because you cannot fix a problem until you are aware of its source, it is important to understand what drives you so you can better control your subconscious impulses. For example, people develop survival strategies during interpersonal conflict in an effort to protect oneself from a perceived threat. Common survival strategies include defensiveness, withdrawal, or counterattack. Partners are often unaware of these impulses in the moment and naturally…

Every couple will be faced with the challenge of forgiveness. Many times, forgiveness will be required for small conflicts, such as forgetting to start the dishwasher or booking the wrong flight. Other times, partners will be asked to forgive larger betrayals, such as verbal abuse or an affair. Whether for big or small hurts, forgiveness is essential for healthy relationship repair and sustainability. Forgiveness does not just benefit the relationship but the forgiver as well. Holding on…

You have said, “I do,” signed the marriage license, and perhaps even celebrated your wedding with family and friends. With all the hard work of planning and executing a wedding behind you, now is the time to sit back, relax, and enjoy life as a married couple, right? The truth, of course, is that this picture of newly wedded bliss does not come close to the reality that nearly all couples face as they embark on their…

There are numerous stereotypes about love, relationships, and marriage, and some of them have formed into broadly shared myths. Unfortunately, couples can be led astray by myths that promote unhealthy relationship habits or prevent partners from adopting healthier styles of relating. Often in therapy, I work with couples to break down commonly held myths so that partners can increase their awareness and take control of developing a more satisfying relationship. Here are some of the most common…