Blog Archives
It might be surprising to know that research suggests that it is not how much you fight that predicts happiness and success in your relationship, but rather it is how you fight that really matters. Indeed, not all fights are created equal. There is conflict that can generate disconnection and destroy good will between you and your partner, but there is also the kind of conflict that moves you closer together and further along in the development…
When you and your partner argue, it can sometimes feel like you have no choice but to react. When she gets defensive, so do you. And you just can’t stand it when he walks away from you, so you yell a little louder in order to make sure he is really listening. Indeed, our partners can unwittingly trigger our most tender, vulnerable spots, making it difficult to keep cool and think logically. However, these automatic reactions may…
Although depression is a problem for many people, it has typically been understood as an issue that occurs more often in women. Indeed, statistics have indicated that, over the course of their lifetimes, women are about 70% more likely than men to have an episode of major depression. But what if we reconsidered how we think about depression and how it manifests? Results from a recent study suggest that when externalizing symptoms like rage, substance abuse, and…
Arguments and disagreements are natural in every relationship. The way partners handle them can shape whether love grows or breaks down. Many couples adopt habits that seem logical in the moment but ultimately cause more harm than good. These repeated patterns create more distance and leave both partners feeling unheard. That is why identifying and moving away from unhealthy relationship strategies is a key step toward a better connection. Conflict is about choosing the right approach when…
It is not always easy to communicate well with your partner, and it is more complicated than simply an exchange of words. Communicating with your partner is about relating to him or her; it is about two people openly sharing who they are with one another in ways that are not critical or judgmental. It can be difficult, however, to say what you mean or share what you are feeling, especially when you know that what you…
Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) has become a growing issue for children and adolescents in recent years, but many do not realize that ADHD can also linger into adulthood and have similarly distressing effects. Adult ADHD can have a particularly profound impact on romantic relationships, especially when the symptoms of adult ADHD get mistaken as intentional carelessness or recklessness. One partner may not realize that the other is struggling with a disorder that makes it very difficult…
We often hear that you should never discuss money or religion in conversation. It is too personal and feelings can easily become hurt. When you and your partner are planning to get married, however, these are just a few of the difficult conversations you absolutely must have. Couples often dismiss or avoid discussing important topics, only to have them appear within their marriage in ways that can erode positivity and invite conflict, anger, and resentment. The conversations…
Are you being smart in your relationship? A successful romantic relationship does not just happen by chance, and happy couples are not just lucky people. A successful relationship is built when a couple approaches their partnership in an intelligent way. Below are 14 things that smart couples do. How does your relationship measure up? 1. They communicate well. Smart couples talk openly and with respect and listen actively and with real interest. 2. They are intentional. Smart…
Originally published, by request, for the membership dating website razzou.com. Dr. Anne Malec is a contributing writer for Razzou, her articles focus on romantic relationships, dating guidance and resolving conflict between couples. This submission was requested to focus on the dynamic of a female/male dating relationship, however the context holds true for various types of romantic relationships. How do you know that you want to be exclusive with the guy you have been dating? Is it just…
Deciding to go to couples therapy can feel like a big decision. Oftentimes, what keeps people from entering couples therapy are their preconceived notions of what it will be like. You may fear that you will be told you are the cause of your relationship problems. Perhaps you worry that you will have to commit to years of therapy for it to work. Of course, therapy is different for everyone, and there are many kinds of couples…