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Reaching Across the Aisle: Managing Hot Topics at Holiday Gatherings

November 22, 2016

After experiencing one of the most polarizing election campaigns in recent history, it is natural to feel ambivalent or anxious about upcoming holiday gatherings that usually include people with a combination of opposing opinions and values. Without careful consideration and structure, what is supposed to be a joyous reunion of loved ones can turn into a contentious and argumentative event. You do not want to worry about if a holiday occasion will turn into a family war,…

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Emotions, Neither Good Nor Bad

November 22, 2016

“Don’t be angry.” “You should always be happy.” “You shouldn’t let other people know when you are sad.” “It’s not okay to feel like this.” “I shouldn’t be feeling this way.” Emotions are often categorized into either good or bad and there is often also a judgment based on the label given. Typically, such emotions as anger, jealously, sadness, or frustration are considered “bad,” while emotions such as happiness, joy, love, or excited are considered “good.” However,…

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5 Ways to Get Through a Political Thanksgiving

November 17, 2016

The holidays are just around the corner, and we all know what that means: time for political discussions and arguments over turkey and stuffing. This year will be especially difficult after the results of the election. Our country is more divided than the majority of us realized, which may make for some stressful times ahead in regard to family gatherings. It is especially difficult to discuss political differences among family members since there is a deep and unconditional love among most families, and it can be hard to reconcile loving someone so much while having opposite political beliefs and values. This election also feels a lot more personal to most of us, which adds an extra layer of emotions around it. I have found that many of my clients (in individual and couples therapy) are discussing their apprehension and stress about the holidays due to fear of political arguments. While navigating the holidays can be difficult and stressful, here are some tips and tools to feel better prepared

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How to Find Meaning in Difficult Times

November 16, 2016

“Everything can be taken away from a person but one thing: to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way” -Viktor Frankl, “Man’s Search for Meaning” We sometimes find ourselves in deep sadness, despair, disappointment, and question why it is happening. When our children are diagnosed with incurable diseases, when our best friend is in a car accident, when our parent is diagnosed with cancer, when we lose our jobs, when…

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Authenticity

November 8, 2016

I often hear comments and complaints from clients regarding their hesitations and apprehensions to be themselves, do or say what they want or are feeling, and struggle with being themselves in every area and relationship in their lives. They feel like they have to say what the other person wants to hear, act a certain way, do what others want or are interested in, put on an act in certain situations, or even have different personalities or…

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Want to Meet People Offline? Time to Get Out of Your Comfort Zone

November 8, 2016

The average single person is currently online or mobile dating or has tried it before. It has become less stigmatized and has become the number one way that people are meeting their partners today. However, even with these statistics, I often work with people in individual therapy who are no longer interested in online or mobile dating or who are wary of trying it. I often hear clients discuss how it’s difficult to meet someone you have…

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Choose Your Own Adventure: Breaking Unhealthy Patterns

November 7, 2016

It is probably no surprise to you that many couples seek couples therapy to work on their communication skills as well as to learn tools on how to argue better and more effectively. However, what is not talked about as often is how difficult it is to break old patterns of communication. How we communicate and process, especially during an argument, has been deeply ingrained in us from childhood, past relationships, and so forth. Do we become…

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Talk Before You Leap: Topics to Discuss Before Cohabitating

November 7, 2016

Moving-in with a partner is a huge step and transition in any relationship. Whether you have been dating for many years, you are already engaged, or if you have only been together for a matter of months, moving-in with your partner can be exciting, stressful, and eye-opening. While many couples report that moving-in together was a positive experience overall, many also discuss the additional stressors that were added onto the relationship once they moved-in together. When living…

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Let’s All Stop Ghosting, Please

November 2, 2016

Thanks to modern technology, it is easier than ever to find someone to go out with. Dating has never been more convenient, accessible, and normalized thanks to online dating and mobile dating apps. For better or for worse, you can have a new date in a matter of minutes after signing in to your favorite app and swiping right. More people getting married today have met through online or mobile dating more than through any other way,…

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Surviving the Holidays

November 1, 2016

The holidays are meant to be a time of celebrating, traditions, spending and enjoying time with family and friends, taking a break and relaxing, and indulging in the festivities and food. But holidays can also bring with them conflict, stress, anxiety, extra financial obligations, and even depression. During this time of year, there are less daylight hours, the weather is not as pleasant, and there are significantly more social, financial, and familial obligations and expectations. With a…

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