4 Reasons to See a Couples Counselor

By Eric Dean JD, MBA, MA, MA, LPC, CADC

“What brings you to therapy?”

Often the first question your therapist will ask you.

There are numerous reasons why couples seek therapy, including resolving communication issues, building trust, and being more collaborative, among others. Some couples begin therapy with a specific goal in mind while others have more general ideas about aspects of the relationship that they want to look at more closely.  

Unsure About Couples Therapy? 4 Reasons to See a Couples Counselor

Please keep in mind that couples therapy is not limited to those who are having relationship problems: it can also be helpful for couples who want to learn new skills and get to know each other on a deeper level. This post will focus on four problem-related reasons to see a couple’s counselor. A future post will focus on reasons to give couples therapy a try that are non-problem related. 

• You are having disagreements about money

Money fights are one of the leading causes of divorce in the United States. You and your partner may have different views on money based on how you grew up. Frequent disagreements about the amount of money being spent and/or saved often devolve into unhealthy arguments. For example, John thinks it would be best for he and his partner to pay for all their daughter’s college tuition because that is what his parents did for him. Not having to worry about student loan debt, John was able to focus more on his studies and pursue a lower paying, but more satisfying career path. His partner Jane, however, thinks it would be best to contribute 50% of the tuition and have their daughter Pat cover the rest, which is the same as what her parents did for her. Jane felt that the experience of having and repaying debt over time helped her become more financially responsible and self-confident.

• You and/or your partner had an affair

Finding out that your partner is having an affair may cause an emotional tsunami of rage, sadness, and fear. Couples counseling can provide a nonjudgmental space for you to share openly and honestly with your partner about your feelings. It can also facilitate constructive dialogue about the events leading up to the affair, why it happened, forgiveness, and changes to implement going forward. 

• You have incompatible relationship goals

One common example of this, is when one partner wants to have kids, and the other does not or is unsure. Maybe you have reached an impasse with your partner. Couples therapy can help facilitate healthy communication of each partner’s feelings and help the couple identify whether there could be a compromise and/or mutual understanding. Therapy can stimulate discussion on what the future looks like if the partners cannot agree.  

• You are contemplating ending the relationship

Counseling can help you assess the current health of your relationship and whether it can be changed in a way to meet the needs of you and your partner. If both partners feel the relationship can be repaired if certain changes are made, then counseling can help with the identification, implementation, and evaluation of those changes. If a couple decides to part ways, counseling can help make that process less contentious. 

Wrapping Up

Couples therapy is a powerful tool to help you assess the health of your relationship and implement positive changes. Remember, every relationship has its challenges: what is important is how you respond to those challenges. Couples therapy is a great place to begin.

So, let’s get started – call Symmetry Counseling today at 312-578-9990.

References

Cruze, Rachel. (2018). “Money Ruining Marriages in America: A Ramsey Solutions Study.” www.ramseysolutions.com/company/newsroom/releases/money-ruining-marriages-in-america.

University of California – San Diego. (2021, July 27). Differences in financial risk preferences can make or break a marriage: Couples who disagree on savings and investment decisions are twice as likely to divorce. ScienceDaily. Retrieved August 13, 2021 from www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2021/07/210727171751.htm