Marriage Counseling Chicago Archives
Madissyn Fredericks, Licensed Professional Counselor, Symmetry Counseling Those three little words, “I love you”, carry so much weight. While it may seem obvious to let someone know you love them, speaking those words doesn’t come easy to everyone. People experience love in many different forms and there are so many ways to express your love other than saying it. The most important thing is to express your love to your partner in some way, shape, or form.…
Read MoreWhen we start dating someone, we tend to feel what people call the “honeymoon” stage in which everything is perfect. Neither individual in the relationship can do anything wrong and everything is all rosy and perfect. Both partners are putting their first foot forward and are showing off their true colors. After a few months, partners start to argue or have differences. That is when the honeymoon stage is officially over. Being able to identify what your…
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We may have all heard of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse, death, famine, war, and conquest; however, have you heard of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse for communication? According to Dr. John Gottman, the Four Horsemen are Criticism, Contempt, Defensiveness, and Stonewalling. He labeled these communication styles as the Four Horsemen, because research was able to predict the end of a relationship when these styles were being used in communication. As a therapist, I see…
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Madissyn Fredericks, Licensed Professional Counselor, Symmetry Counseling Criticism, the first of Dr. John Gottman’s Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse, has been shown to be one of the four highest predictors for divorce along with stonewalling, defensiveness, and contempt. Criticism plays its role in every relationship to some degree; however, there is a point where a significant amount of criticism takes a severe toll on a romantic relationship. In most cases, it starts out pretty minor and escalates…
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As a couple and family therapist, a common issue I experience is trust. I have heard about trust issues in couples that have only been together for a couple of months, and couples who have been together for several years. The issue of trust can range from not trusting your partner’s response to your hard day of work, to breaches of trust with infidelity. Although building trust may seem like a daunting task, it is definitely possible…
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No relationship is perfect, and that is okay! While every couple is completely unique in their own relationships, I find that there are some overlapping relationship challenges and themes I notice when working with couples. Every challenging part of a couple’s relationship can be a learning opportunity and an authentic way to bring them closer together. The first step is simply to acknowledge that there are going to be challenges in any relationship. It would be quite…
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Madissyn Fredericks, Licensed Professional Counselor, Symmetry Counseling Think about that one couple you look up to the most. That couple that makes you think, “I want a relationship like that.” What qualities do they have that you admire? These qualities are most likely their bond, loyalty, commitment to each other, and the patience they have for one another. Patience is a crucial component to a happy and healthy relationship and is defined as the ability to tolerate…
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Madissyn Fredericks, Licensed Professional Counselor, Symmetry Counseling We all enter into romantic relationships with expectations. Expectations that we are going to be cared for, adored, loved, fulfilled, or even hurt or betrayed. Based on our life experiences and relationship ideals, these expectations can vary greatly. If your expectations for your partner fall into the realm of too high or too low, it can be damaging to your relationship. For example, if you expect your partner to complete…
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Madissyn Fredericks, Licensed Professional Counselor, Symmetry Counseling What’s your definition of being in love? For you, it may be the constant thoughts of your significant other combined with your heart racing when you see them. For others, love may mean they can’t stop smiling, see someone as “perfect”, or want to be with them every second. The feeling of love is not entirely universal and often gets mixed up with the feeling of being infatuated. Therefore, my…
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Madissyn Fredericks, Licensed Professional Counselor, Symmetry Counseling Our attachment style is something we carry with us throughout our upbringing and into our adult romantic relationships. Attachment is defined as the strong, intimate, and emotional bond typically formed between an infant and its caregiver in the early years of life. Attachment affects everything from selecting your partner, to how you behave in relationships, to how you leave them. According to Mary Ainsworth and other recent researchers, there are…
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