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Love Like New: Reintegrating basic tools of dating into a lifelong marriage Stephanie Sarmas, Licensed Clinical Social Worker Symmetry Counseling Chicago A rush of excitement as you answer the phone to finalize plans for an upcoming date, the anticipation of seeing your new partner again evokes such joy and giddiness insurmountable to anything you’ve ever experienced. The mere thought of learning more about your partner triggers an exhilarating attraction and fascination, underlying, there is a genuine desire…

When I see a client for individual therapy who is coping with the loss of a relationship, they will often say, “I feel like someone died.” I will respond and say, “Yes, that’s exactly right. When a relationship ends, you must mourn the relationship.” Just the way you would mourn the death of someone, you must give yourself the time and space to mourn for the loss of your relationship. People who have gone through a break-up…

Do you know how much your significant other makes? What about the amount of debt that he or she has? Have you two talked about spending and budgeting? Do you have a plan for how large financial decisions will be made or how expenses and bills will be paid? Is there a set amount you can spend before you have a discussion with your significant other? Do you two meet regularly to go over financial planning and…

Take your vitamins. Brush and floss your teeth. Exercise regularly. Eat less red meat and processed foods. Decrease your intake of sodium and sugar. Drink more water. Get enough sleep. Sit less. Have regular check-ups with your doctor and dentist. Most of us do some of these habits regularly in the hope of preventing something negative from happening to our physical health and over all well-being. We put time and effort into healthy behaviors, habits, and decisions…

When couples transition to parenthood, there is an understandable expectation that life will be different. We will be more tired. We will have less time for each other. Our priorities need to change. All of these are natural thoughts partners might experience, but no expectation can perfectly match the reality of this significant transition. Being flexible and open to each other is paramount to managing the relationship safely into parenthood.

Gratitude, per the Merriam-Webster Dictionary, is defined as “a feeling of appreciation or thanks; the state of being grateful.” Reading that definition, gratitude would appear as if it were something very simple to do or easy to feel, like it should just happen naturally with no effort involved whatsoever. But as many of us probably know firsthand, feeling or showing gratitude towards ourselves or others can often times not happen and is not the way most people…

Do you avoid looking at your bills or bank statements? Do you know how much you currently have in your accounts or how much you owe? Does thinking about your financial situation cause you anxiety, distress, or guilt? Do you avoid discussing or thinking about your financial situation at any cost to avoid feeling negatively about it? Individuals with financial avoidance or financial denial will often avoid thinking about or discussing their financial situation or issues in…

We often receive the message that fighting is bad. It feels unpleasant, it can hurt others’n feelings, and it often turns us into angry, hurtful people we do not even recognize. It is true that conflict can be harmful, but it also serves a pivotal role in healthy relationship functioning. Without conflict, partners would either have no major differences, which would feel boring and unfulfilling, or they would have no way to directly resolve their differences. Conflict…

Think about money. What is the first word or words that come to mind? Does your word or words include power, success, protection, security, independence, love, or freedom? Or maybe oppression, control, manipulation, anxiety, stress, or avoidance? Many of us have a pretty strong reaction to money and the meaning it holds for us. It can be either positive or negative, or even possibly both depending on the situation, personal experiences, family history and what was taught…