Choosing Holistic Self-Care to Cope with Difficult Emotions

“What have you been doing to take care of yourself?”

This is the most important question I ask my clients. I’m not only referring to caring for the physical body, how we move, eat, or sleep, but also how we cope with our emotions. Ignoring or minimizing emotional needs can affect our mental health, physical well-being, and relationships.

Self-care consists of learned behaviors and skills that grow and change with knowledge of healthy coping tools, understanding of oneself, awareness of what skills are healing to one’s mind and body, and consistent practice. Self-care routines can change daily. Being mindful of your thoughts, feelings, and physical sensations helps you choose the self-care practices that are most effective each day.

Many people assume that self-care refers to the behaviors of eating well, having healthy sleeping patterns, and exercising regularly. However, there is so much more to be aware of than simply meeting those seemingly basic behaviors. Holistic self-care also includes coping strategies that support both emotional and physical well-being.

You can create a “Coping Skills Toolbox” to support holistic self-care, customizing it to fit your unique needs. This toolbox can be a list or a creative project that is made to remind you of actions that can help decrease difficult emotions from internal or external triggers. Below are six areas of focus, meant to start the process of guiding you to check in with yourself when you need self-care and discover what you really need to reduce your level of distress.

Self-Soothing

This first area is used to comfort yourself using all or some of your five senses. When you are emotionally overwhelmed, sometimes you need soothing. Examples include petting a cat or dog, taking a warm shower, or stepping outside to enjoy nature and observe the scenery.

• Touch: Hold a stuffed animal, wrap yourself in a soft blanket, squeeze a stress ball, pet your cat or dog, or run your hands under hot or cold water.
• Hearing: Listen to calming music, meditation guides, or uplifting podcasts.
• Sight: Step outside to enjoy nature, look at beautiful photos, or find soothing images online.
• Taste: Savor mints, your favorite smoothie or juice, or a small portion of healthy food.
• Smell: Light a candle, use essential oils, or burn incense for a calming aroma.

Distraction

Distraction helps take your mind off a problem temporarily, especially when emotions feel overwhelming. These strategies provide a short break from intense thoughts and feelings. Distraction is meant to be used as a short-term tool, and once you are at a lower level of emotional intensity, you can move onto other tools that allow for awareness and understanding of the messages within the emotional experience you are having. Distractions include:

• Engaging Activities: Work on puzzles, read a book, create artwork, explore positive websites, listen to music, watch movies, sing, or paint.
• Affirmations & Inspiration: Look at or create motivational statements or images that encourage and uplift you.
• Humor & Fun: Watch a funny movie, TV show, or YouTube video, or read a humorous book to lighten your mood.

Movement

Sometimes the body just needs movement to reduce emotional suffering. Physical activity can influence brain function and naturally improve your mood. Try dancing or exercising and then assess how you are feeling. Movement activities include:

• Dancing, walking, running, shaking out your body, or other forms of exercise

Emotional Awareness

Emotional awareness tools help you identify and express your feelings. Sometimes, simply acknowledging your emotions and processing them on your own is the most effective step. Use some of the following suggestions to start this process and work to release painful emotions through awareness and writing:

• Make a list of your current emotions, write in a journal, draw, or express yourself through other forms of art.
• Make a list of negative and positive thoughts going through your head (compare and reflect on how those thoughts affect how you are feeling)

Mindfulness

When your mind drifts to past events or spirals into worries about the future, mindfulness practices can bring your attention back to the here and now. Mindfulness tools include:

• Meditation or relaxation
• Yoga and breathing exercises
• Focusing on what you are grateful for
• Getting in touch with your spiritual beliefs and/or practices

Crisis Plan

A crisis plan is used when your individual coping skills are not enough and you require additional support to stay safe. You should always have a plan if your emotions and/or behaviors escalate and become a crisis. If you have thoughts of harming yourself or someone else, or you have a plan or intent, act immediately and use one or more of these steps:

Call 911 or go to your nearest Emergency Room

• You have thoughts, a plan, or intent to harm yourself or someone else.
• You feel that you cannot keep yourself safe.

National Suicide Prevention Hotline:1-800-273-8255

• Free and confidential
• Help is offered for suicidal thoughts, emotional distress, and other mental health crises.

Therapist

• Always talk openly with your therapist if you are experiencing thoughts of self-harm, suicide, or feeling emotionally overwhelmed.
• Work with your therapist to formulate a plan to keep you and/or others safe.

Psychiatrist

• Consult your psychiatrist for medication management or to discuss potential treatment options that may support your emotional well-being.

Family/Friends

• Emotional support and reduce isolation

Take a moment to notice the self-care practices you already use, and consider which of the tools listed here you might want to try. Write them down, put them in a box or container, or make a list of the tools to keep on your phone, and access this toolbox when you are struggling with your emotions.

If you’d like additional guidance on developing your self-care routine or creating a personalized Coping Skills Toolbox, contact Symmetry Counseling to connect with one of our experienced clinicians.