7 strategies to help you get over a broken heart

If you’ve ever had your heart broken, you know how painful it can be. There are times when the pain is so bad it becomes physical. Memories of happy times pop up uninvited anytime during the day, making you feel really sad and alone. One day you might feel okay, but the next, you could wake up in the middle of the night missing your ex intensely. The longing can feel unbearable at times.

It may be difficult to believe right now, but with time, the pain will ease. Eventually, thoughts of your partner won’t bring on fresh tears, and seeing pictures of them in a new relationship will no longer make you feel depressed. Healing, however, takes time, and no one can say exactly when you’ll reach that point. In the meantime, here are a few steps that can help you begin mending your broken heart.

Feel the pain fully and completely

It’s difficult to face such deep pain without wanting to escape it. You might feel tempted to jump into a new relationship, drink excessively, or throw yourself into work to forget the hurt, but these are only temporary distractions that won’t truly help. If you try to bury it, it will only come back later to haunt you. A better way is to welcome it and feel it fully and completely. Let it consume you for a while; cry if you need to, do whatever you want to express your pain. But feel it and acknowledge it. Don’t ignore it; accept that it is there.

Follow a routine

You may not feel like getting on with your life; even the thought of going outside the house may feel like too much effort. However, following a routine will be the best thing you can do. Go to work or school, clean the house, have dinner with family or friends. These small actions might not feel meaningful right now, but simply going through the motions can make a difference. In time, you’ll begin to find purpose and comfort in your daily life again.

Change something around you

If you lived with your partner and you’re the one left behind, you may find it helpful to make some layout or decorative changes in your home. Rearrange the furniture, take down photos, or add new décor that reflects your own personality. Even small changes, like a new wall color or a few plants, can make your home feel like your own space again and reduce reminders of your ex.

Change your habits as well

As we mentioned, it’s important to avoid triggers, like doing the same things that you and your partner used to do. Develop new habits and routines; if you used to watch a movie after work every Wednesday, for example, find something else to do on that day. You could book a spa appointment, join a book or cooking class, volunteer in your community, or sign up for a local sports club. Changing your routine helps your mind associate those times with new, positive experiences.

You might also consider blocking or muting your ex on social media. Seeing photos of them smiling, socializing, or moving on can make you feel as if you’re the only one still hurting. It can be very tempting to check an ex’s Facebook, Twitter, or Instagram pages, but try to stop your impulse to check, because it will only make you feel sadder. These changes need not be permanent; it’s just to help you break up the old associations.

Exercise

Find a sport you can do regularly and stick to it. If you’d always wanted to learn tennis, go for it. You can go to the gym, run, swim, walk, ride a bike, or dance. It doesn’t matter what you choose to do – the important thing is to find an activity that you enjoy and gets you active and engaged with others. Exercise releases chemicals in the brain that boost mood and reduce stress. It also gives you the chance to meet new people outside your past relationship, helping you build fresh routines and a renewed sense of confidence.

Seek the support of family and friends

You don’t have to deal with your pain alone. Find people you can trust and share your pain with them. When it gets too bad, you will find it helps when there are people whom you can call and be with. You might think others won’t understand, but almost everyone has experienced heartbreak in some form. The circumstances may differ, yet the emotions of loss and longing are universal.

Take care of yourself

After a breakup, one thing you’ll come to realize is that the most important relationship you’ll ever have is the one you have with yourself. Take care of your body and mind, eat well, spend time with friends, and practice genuine self-care. Avoid self-destructive habits like smoking, spending too much, and excessive alcohol or drug use. Most of all, allow yourself time to heal. Don’t rush into a new relationship, and don’t force yourself to “move on.” Just live one day at a time. One day, you’ll find that you’re ready to love again. Until then, just love yourself. That will be enough.

Every relationship teaches you something new, and the more you open your heart to love, the better you understand yourself. In the meantime, if you need someone to talk to about your pain, reach out to us. We’re here to help you heal.