How to Cope With Dating App Burnout

Hannah Hopper, LCPC, EMDR Trained

If you’ve ever felt drained, like you’ve been pushed past your breaking point, or are done with everything, you’re probably experiencing burnout. Burnout has become increasingly common over the past few years, and it can impact all areas of our lives. And now it’s becoming a regular experience with dating apps too. If you feel like chatting and setting up dates from an app has become work, or feels like a part-time job, you’re not alone. If you’re using an app you’re likely to be juggling multiple conversations at once, and most of these conversations start off pretty surface-level. Not only that, but you’re also coordinating multiple schedules and dates at once, all while trying to figure out who you like the most (and hope they feel the same way about you). Frankly, it’s a recipe for burnout. So what do you do? Below are some tools to cope with burnout. 

Take a Break 

This one might be obvious, but it’s hard to form a genuine connection with someone when you’re feeling exhausted. And even if you do meet someone you want to continue seeing, you may not be able to bring your best self to your time with them. Even going off the apps for a week or two can offer a chance for your mind to refresh. 

Be Intentional 

When we don’t have control over our dating life, it can lead to feelings of burnout as well. Go after what you want, because this puts you in the driver’s seat, rather than waiting for someone to initiate with you. Being intentional can look like starting a conversation with someone whose profile you’re drawn to, or only going on dates with people you see a future with. Another way to be intentional with dating is to know what you’re looking for, and how you’re coming across in your dating life. 

Take it Slow

Another component that can lead to burnout is trying to cram a lot of dates into just a few weeks. When you’re on the apps it may feel like you have to start conversations with everyone you match with, so you can form a connection, have a first date, and decide if you want to keep seeing them. This leads some people to have three or four dates in one week, and little time for other things in life. Too many of these first dates in such a short span of time can lead to feelings of numbness or burnout, and that’s totally normal. Try cutting back on the number of dates you have in a week to one or two, and notice if it feels any different. 

Stay Grounded 

Dating apps can be disorienting. You’re constantly swiping, chatting, or dating someone new, while also assessing what you want in a partner. Not to mention the added rejection that can be disorienting and confusing. Spend time with people who help you to feel valued and loved, and remind you of who you really are. And remember, your worth isn’t tied up in whether someone swipes left or right. 

If you’re interested in learning more about how to cope with a burnout in your dating life and would like to try therapy in Chicago, you can browse our counseling services and therapists online to find someone that’s the right fit for you. We have intake specialists to find a therapist that specializes in what you’re wanting to work through. Contact Symmetry Counseling today! 

Reference: https://www.npr.org/2019/06/26/736344196/dating-app-burnout-when-swiping-becomes-a-chore