Breakups Don’t Have to Be So Bad

Madissyn Fredericks, Licensed Professional Counselor, Symmetry Counseling

Most of us are familiar with the hurt of a heartbreak. When you think of previous breakups, you most likely remember all the negatives associated with it such as the sleepless nights, many tears, disagreements, and pain. While we never assume the relationship we are currently in will come to an end, there are things you can do to make it a much more positive experience for yourself if it does. Rather than lying in bed for days or isolating yourself from the world, try taking time for yourself and healing. When you turn the breakup experience into a positive one you leave feeling better about the decision, your significant other, and yourself. Below are a few ways to turn your breakup into an experience that isn’t so bad after all.

Take Time To Grieve

There is no shame in crying, feeling sad, or grieving for the relationship. In fact, it is a necessary step towards accepting change. Take the time you need to grieve and consider what you have learned from that relationship. Many times individuals feel they are grieving too long or don’t want to think about it anymore and begin to shut out the pain. Shutting out the pain just causes it to resurface, therefore it is important to feel the pain, consider what you gained from the relationship, and get through the grieving process in your own time.

Engage in Self-Care

Everyone gets through pain differently, but self-care is highly important during this time. Whether you need to try a new hobby, go to an extra yoga class, or engage more with friends, these are all ways to improve your mood regularly. Focus on your own healing and recovery rather than bad-mouthing your ex or staying in your bed for days. Getting out and engaging in activities that you enjoy with those you care about will make your break-up more positive.

Prepare Yourself and Take it One Day At A Time

Time alone doesn’t heal your heart, it is an intentional process. It is important to discuss and consider potential situations that may arise and affect you such as running into your ex, revealing the breakup to others, or seeing your ex with someone else. Doing this helps you feel prepared for difficult times and improves your ability to relax. Remember you are allowed to be devastated, so acknowledge it and prepare for what may come.

Put Yourself Back Out There

Once you feel you have taken the time you need to grieve and heal, you may be ready to consider things such going on dating apps or getting back together with your ex. Self-reflection is extremely important during this time to make sure you don’t make decisions before you are ready. If you are considering getting back with your ex, make sure it is what is best for you. Ask yourself if you or them are open to change, counseling, or forgiveness to help you gain clarity upon making this decision. This time is about you and healing, so whatever you do, do it for you!

If you are considering breaking up with your partner and would to make it more positive, try some of these tips. If you feel like you need some more guidance, it may be helpful to connect with a therapist. Contact Symmetry Counseling at 312-578-9990 to schedule an appointment with one of our very skilled therapists today!