7 Ways to Challenge your Birthday Blues

Many people struggle with birthday anxiety or depression as they get older. You might remember celebrating with friends, family, cake, and laughter as a child but as an adult, your birthday may feel like a reminder of unmet goals or disappointments.

As a licensed therapist, I help clients realize some of the reasons why their birthday is a trigger for their anxiety and/or depression. Many times it is based on the fact that they have created a narrative of, “When I was younger, I told myself that at age 30 I was going to be married, have kids, have great job, and live in the suburbs” but instead, “I am currently single, working at a horrible job, accomplished nothing, and living alone in a studio apartment I can barely afford.”

One way to help the client cope with their upcoming birthday whether it be 30 or 60 or anywhere in between, I help the client create new narratives about their life in the present moment.

Below is a simple guide to help you challenge birthday blues and create a more positive, self-affirming experience.

Focus on Your Accomplishments

Instead of thinking of all of the things you have not done yet, think of all of the amazing things you have done so far. This can be done with journaling or even through narrative therapy with your therapist. You might surprise yourself with how many accomplishments you have completed in your entire life. Give yourself the credit you deserve!

Age is Nothing but a Number

Each year or decade you enter, realize you are only getting wiser and getting to know yourself more, that is, if you are actively showing up for yourself each day, which starts with some self-love and self-care. Starting to look at these numbers as just numbers, will help you change your mindset. Embrace your birthday as a day to reflect on yourself.

Reframing Your Goals

Instead of telling yourself, “I’m already approaching 30 and hate my job and I have no way out” attempt to lean into “I get to go to work and make some money, and I also get to reflect on new career goals and I am capable of making steps toward those goals.”

Self-Care Day

Your birthday is the one day of the year where you can truly guilt free lean into tapping into a day filled with self-care. Use this day as a way to reflect on what brings you joy, whether that means spending time with your friends, family, yourself, going for a run, watching your favorite movie, going to the spa, whatever you want, within reason of course, treat yourself today!

Self-Compassion

Be gentle with yourself on your birthday. Give yourself a break and tell yourself it is okay that you are not exactly where you thought you might be in life, but you are an evolving person each and every day. Each day you are one step closer to your next goal. Use this day as a marker for motivation for goals for your next birthday.

Challenge Your Thought Distortions

Maybe you created this narrative of needing to be married, with kids, and a house at age 30 due to the pressures of society, family, or friends. Reflect on your values that you have created versus what perhaps other people have created. Not everyone has the same values in life, and that is okay!

Sit with Yourself

If you truly are unhappy on your birthday, sit with those feelings. Our body is essentially an alert system. It tells us when there is something we need, whether that means when we need food or water, or maybe even emotional support. Face those feelings in a gentle way.

Embrace them, as it could be alerting you to start moving in a direction in life that could give you more meaning and happiness.

Start Celebrating Yourself with Support from Symmetry Counseling

Birthdays do not have to bring anxiety or sadness. They can be an opportunity to reflect, grow, and appreciate how far you have come. If you find yourself struggling with negative thoughts or emotional distress around your birthday, you are not alone.

At Symmetry Counseling, our licensed therapists specialize in anxiety, depression, and self-esteem counseling to help you create a more positive relationship with yourself. Together, we can help you rewrite your inner narrative and find joy in celebrating who you are today.

If you are currently struggling with an upcoming birthday, it may be a good idea to connect with one of our skilled counselors at Symmetry Counseling today.

You can connect with us at 312-578-9990 to set up an appointment.