Steven Losardo
Steven Losardo, AMFT Maybe more so than ever, we need safety in our lives, and that includes secure individuals. These people have attributes that include being easy to get close and dependability. Safe people are comfortable depending on others and do not worry about abandonment or someone getting too close to them (Johnson, 2013). How do we know we have these kind-hearted people in our lives? This blog will review the characteristics of a safe person to…
Read MoreSteven Losardo, AMFT In October of 2015, my dad passed. Although painful at times, the healing journey has been fruitful for me. Recently, during our family’s’ weekly video call, some emotions were stirring. At the moment, I was unable to connect with them. Later that day, I was driving to Target as sadness began welling up inside. By the time I got to the store, the tears were falling, and it was surprising at first. After processing…
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Steven Losardo, AMFT In clinical practice, many behavioral tools assist with decreasing worry. Tools such as mindfulness, gratefulness logs, thought logs, prayer, and meditation all can be effective. Their efficacy is proven in many research studies. Several use an fMRI, and the data suggests that we can re-train our minds with these tools and others to build our emotional intelligence (EI) (Fishbane, 2013). Because the change to EI entails rewiring the brain, it requires much repetition and…
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After a review of the latest research on affair risks for committed relationships (those that are exclusive sexually and romantically), the most thought-provoking discovery was not the research itself. Instead, it was the presentation of the infidelity statistics as “highly variable” and having much “uncertainty.” As an example, when consolidating research findings, Gottman (2017) notes a “cautious conclusion” stating infidelity rates are “probably about 20% for men and 15% for women.” The author’s use of such vague…
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A Part of the Past Shows up in the Present We pick up where we left the family in part I of the blog. DL is frozen at the moment afterhearing a voice from the woods saying, “If you build it he will come.” DL discovers the voice from the woods is Unc, who is playing a practical joke. Unc is whispering what he calls “learning the Gottman (2016).” What Unc actually says, “if you use a…
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Steven Losardo The Setting For one family in New England, this Easter means Reactivity Weekend take LXXXV. But really, who’s counting? The weekend is usually made possible through a Good Friday argument exasperating stressors that seemingly began in 1920. Some family members know better and avoid the unfinished business. Others have good intentions and come with a plan to prevent the specific intricacies from imposing a burden. However, they find themselves caught in the drama knowing there…
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Steven Losardo In a recent blog, I reviewed how research continues to confirm that emerging adults are positioning marriage later in life while shifting their focus to college, higher education, and their careers (Fincham & Cui (2010). Additionally, there is diminishing support from social institutions and norms to get married. Meanwhile, more recent data from Hawkins and Clyde (2018) also shows that marriage is still viewed as the pinnacle of adulthood. As a result, the number of…
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Steven Losardo Suppose you have been in a committed relationship for the past two years. While there are no serious issues and you aspire to be married, there is some doubt. This tension leads to a Google search revealing potential relational problems such as student loans, infidelity, lack of commitment, money, social media, mismatched libido, porn, and stress. You posit that your student loan payoff is an issue and you take some small steps. One is selling…
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Steven Losardo In a recent Pew Center research article on marriage and love in America, Geiger and Livingston (2018) combine online survey data from 1990 to 2017 highlighting several multifaceted factors on the way to the altar. Factors such as cohabitation, which is up 29% since 2007, and marriage to someone in a different religious group, which is up 39%, are becoming prevalent. Additionally, now more than ever technology is playing an essential role in the process.…
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Steven Losardo, LMFT It was November 28th, 2014, or Black Friday 2014, and somehow, I got an internal nudge to begin my 2015 New Year’s Resolution (NYR). Looking for any excuse to avoid shopping, I decided to stay home to review what drives me to sign up for NYRs each year, NYR planning, and benefits to even having resolutions. First, I reviewed my 2014 “highlights.” ⦁ Despite my good intentions to make the change life-sustaining, my NYR lasted…
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