Steven Losardo
Steven Losardo, AMFT In October of 2015, my dad passed. Although painful at times, the healing journey has been fruitful for me. Recently, during our family’s’ weekly video call, some emotions were stirring. At the moment, I was unable to connect with them. Later that day, I was driving to Target as sadness began welling up inside. By the time I got to the store, the tears were falling, and it was surprising at first. After processing…
Steven Losardo, AMFT In clinical practice, many behavioral tools assist with decreasing worry. Tools such as mindfulness, gratefulness logs, thought logs, prayer, and meditation all can be effective. Their efficacy is proven in many research studies. Several use an fMRI, and the data suggests that we can re-train our minds with these tools and others to build our emotional intelligence (EI) (Fishbane, 2013). Because the change to EI entails rewiring the brain, it requires much repetition and…
Trust often feels solid until subtle patterns begin to erode it. Research on affairs describes uncertainty, yet lived experiences reveal common paths that place committed couples at risk. Infidelity risk factors develop through everyday interactions, unchecked vulnerability, and missed conversations that quietly reshape emotional boundaries. A review of major relationship studies highlights how unpredictable infidelity statistics appear across populations. Gottman (2017) describes affair rates as variable and difficult to pin down, estimating roughly 20% for men and…
A Part of the Past Shows up in the Present We pick up where we left the family in part I of the blog. DL is frozen at the moment afterhearing a voice from the woods saying, “If you build it he will come.” DL discovers the voice from the woods is Unc, who is playing a practical joke. Unc is whispering what he calls “learning the Gottman (2016).” What Unc actually says, “if you use a…
Steven Losardo Holiday gatherings often bring a sense of connection, nostalgia, and tradition, yet they can also surface unresolved tension. Family conflict during the holidays rarely starts with a major blowup. Instead, it builds gradually as a teasing comment takes on a sharper edge, a small disagreement grows more heated, and familiar family roles gradually fall back into place. At Symmetry Counseling, we have seen how quickly meaningful celebrations can unravel when past hurt collides with present…
Steven Losardo In a recent blog, I reviewed how research continues to confirm that emerging adults are positioning marriage later in life while shifting their focus to college, higher education, and their careers (Fincham & Cui (2010). Additionally, there is diminishing support from social institutions and norms to get married. Meanwhile, more recent data from Hawkins and Clyde (2018) also shows that marriage is still viewed as the pinnacle of adulthood. As a result, the number of…
Steven Losardo Suppose you have been in a committed relationship for the past two years. While there are no serious issues and you aspire to be married, there is some doubt. This tension leads to a Google search revealing potential relational problems such as student loans, infidelity, lack of commitment, money, social media, mismatched libido, porn, and stress. You posit that your student loan payoff is an issue and you take some small steps. One is selling…
Steven Losardo In a recent Pew Center research article on marriage and love in America, Geiger and Livingston (2018) combine online survey data from 1990 to 2017 highlighting several multifaceted factors on the way to the altar. Factors such as cohabitation, which is up 29% since 2007, and marriage to someone in a different religious group, which is up 39%, are becoming prevalent. Additionally, now more than ever technology is playing an essential role in the process.…
Steven Losardo, LMFT It was November 28th, 2014, or Black Friday 2014, and somehow, I got an internal nudge to begin my 2015 New Year’s Resolution (NYR). Looking for any excuse to avoid shopping, I decided to stay home to review what drives me to sign up for NYRs each year, NYR planning, and benefits to even having resolutions. First, I reviewed my 2014 “highlights.” ⦁ Despite my good intentions to make the change life-sustaining, my NYR lasted…
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