Phrases to Use When Giving Your Therapist Negative Feedback

Amanda Ann Gregory, LCPC, EMDR Certified

Your therapist isn’t perfect and is sure to mess up in one way or another. When something isn’t going right, it’s important to address it with your therapist by providing them with direct feedback. Sharing your concerns can strengthen your relationship with your therapist, help get your treatment back on track, or provide the clarity you need to decide whether to continue therapy or explore other options.

Providing negative feedback to your therapist can feel intimidating, so it might help if you have certain phrases to use. Consider using these phrases if they reflect your experiences or concerns..

“I don’t feel like I’m making progress.” After some time in therapy, you may feel like you aren’t progressing. If so, it’s best to inform your therapist. Giving your therapist this feedback can create productive opportunities. Perhaps your therapist feels the same way and you’ve opened the door to discuss your treatment plan. Maybe your treatment plan needs to be changed or modified in order to promote your growth. Additionally, because your therapist has an objective perspective, they can highlight the progress you may have overlooked and help you recognize and celebrate your achievements.

“We aren’t focusing on what I need.” This is your therapy. It’s important that you feel that you are focusing on valuable goals. If your goals are not being addressed, you need to inform your therapist. There may be reasons they are emphasizing certain areas, and understanding these reasons can clarify the process. Treatment goals should be openly discussed and agreed upon by both you and your therapist to ensure your sessions are productive.

“I need you to be more active.” Many clients mention that their previous therapist listened well but spoke very little. If you need your therapist to be more involved or more verbal, just say so. Your therapist can make a change in their treatment style to better meet your needs, or they can explain why they feel their current method would help you to achieve your treatment goals.

“I want to try something new.” Let your therapist know if you’d like your therapy to be different, even if you don’t know specifically what you’d like to change. Your therapist can help you to identify what needs to change. For instance, you may benefit from exploring different interventions. Often, your therapist already knows strategies that could help, and all they need is your willingness to try something new.

“This is too much.” Therapy can bring up emotions and behaviors which can be stressful and difficult to manage outside of the therapist’s office. When you’re in therapy, things often get worse before they get better. If you feel your treatment is too intense or progressing too quickly, it’s important to speak up. Your therapist can adjust your treatment plan and pacing to better support your ability to cope.

“I can’t afford this.” Discussing payment with your therapist can feel uncomfortable, but it’s important. If you cannot continue covering session fees or your insurance copay, be honest with your therapist. Some therapists have a sliding scale fee that you can take advantage of, or you may be able to work together to create a payment plan. If you need to end therapy due to financial reasons, it’s best to inform your therapist.

“This will be my last session.” If you’ve decided to end therapy for whatever reason, it’s important to tell your therapist. This discussion can provide a great opportunity for closure in this relationship. It also gives your therapist the chance to provide recommendations for follow-up care or guidance for any future treatment.

Why Honest Feedback Strengthens Therapy

Therapy works best when it’s a collaborative process. Being honest about your experience allows your therapist to better understand your needs and adjust their approach. For example, if certain techniques feel unhelpful or uncomfortable, sharing this insight can help your therapist introduce methods that align more closely with your goals. Honest feedback doesn’t have to be confrontational, it can be framed as curiosity or a desire for improvement. This kind of open communication fosters trust and ensures that sessions remain productive and meaningful.

Framing Your Concerns Effectively

When giving feedback, the way you communicate can make a significant difference. Using “I” statements, such as “I feel overwhelmed when we move too quickly” or “I struggle to connect with this approach”, keeps the focus on your experience rather than criticizing your therapist. Being specific about what isn’t working, and suggesting what could help instead, allows for actionable discussion. Additionally, scheduling a dedicated moment in your session to discuss concerns ensures both you and your therapist can address them thoughtfully, without interrupting the flow of therapy.

Giving your therapist direct feedback is a healthy part of the therapeutic relationship and can enhance the effectiveness of your treatment.

If you’d like to begin or resume counseling, Symmetry Counseling provides individual, family and couples counseling. Contact Symmetry Counseling at (312) 578-9990 to schedule an appointment.