Coping with Your Own Anger

Anger is an emotion that we all have, but do we cope with it properly? We might see a partner or a friend or even a stranger act out in a way that we identify as anger, and we tend to say, “wow they are one angry person”. But what is the best way to actually cope with anger that is healthy and does not make us angrier or not feel better at the end of the day? Does throwing things help actually? Does yelling or kicking help? Does shutting down help? Probably none of these things help, so let us identify healthy ways to cope with our own anger.

• Think before you speak. When we are feeling very angry, we tend to just talk about whatever is on the top of our mind. If we take a moment though to actually breath and think about what we are wanting to say, it will help us calm down.
• Once then you are calm from breathing, then you can speak what is on your mind. You might still be angry, and that is ok, but you will have at least processed what you want to say and it will not come out as harsh or you will not regret what you would have said if you were still angry.
• Exercise is so important in so many ways but taking a moment to go for a walk or do a quick workout can help release your anger. Allowing anger to build up is never healthy and can just cause more. If you feel like you are always angry, then trying to work out daily can be beneficial to your health and mind.
• Time out! We send children to timeout to think about their actions, and that goes with adults too. We might not go sit in the corner but having a moment to slow down is very important for our mental health.
• When feeling this way, figure out what is positive in the situation. What will I get out of being angry? How will I feel later? If you are able to take a moment and see positives from the situation, you will be forced to step back and not be focused on just the anger.
• Use “I feel” statements can help you really express what you are feeling. Maybe in your mind, you are feeling anger, but in reality, it might be frustration or annoyance. If you are able to articulate “I feel” statements, that can help you express your emotions better.
• Don’t stay angry. Holding a grudge and staying angry is no way to cope with your emotions. Talk to the individual that you are angry with and identify a solution to move past the way you are feeling. Grudges are not helpful to anyone.
• Laugher is the best medicine, so trying to find humor through why you are angry. You might not be able to find humor in it right away but asking people around you to find humor in the situation can be helpful to make you not think in an angry mindset.
• Relaxation is always important. I have mentioned this earlier, but really stepping away and identifying how you are actually feeling is important. Sometimes letting our negative emotions take control of how we feel is not healthy.
• Seek help if you feel like you are absolutely unable to control your anger and are feeling angry often. There are individuals that can help you cope with your emotions and also there are anger management groups that can also be beneficial to you.

Anger is an emotion that we all experience, so do not be afraid to express it. Making sure you are expressing it in healthy way is the most important thing. If you feel you are struggling with anger management, contact any of our talented therapists at Symmetry Counseling for support.