Blog

Has someone from work repeatedly shared traumatic events or instances of their lives to you? Have you ever scheduled to have coffee with a friend that turns into what should probably be a therapy session of them unpacking a traumatic event that happened? This type of sharing can come from a family member, partner, close friend, or co-worker (or maybe is even a part of your job), and is a lot to take in, especially if it is reoccurring. Unfortunately, with this sharing or sometimes over-sharing, we can experience Secondary Trauma. Secondary Trauma can take place when an individual is exposed to people who have been traumatized or through hearing descriptions of traumatic events by a survivor.

Feelings of Secondary Trauma can look like anger, guilt, sadness, numbness, and helplessness for yourself and the individual who has shared a life experience with you that is traumatic. So, what are some ways to help process Secondary Trauma and how can you navigate the uncomfortable emotions that often come with it? Let’s look at something called the “ABCs of Secondary Trauma”.

Awareness

First, know your own “trauma map.” Acknowledge your history of trauma and be aware that it can affect you more negatively. For example, if you have a friend who often talks about physical abuse that occurs in their current relationship and that’s something that you’ve experienced in your own life, be aware that you may have a stronger reaction to that topic versus if they share about a different form of trauma such as enduring a natural disaster or a severe car accident.

It’s also important to inventory your current lifestyle choices and make necessary changes. Do you get enough sleep? Do you allow yourself downtime for self-care? Do you exercise regularly? Be sure to prioritize and take care of yourself, especially if you know you’re going to be meeting up with someone who historically discloses their trauma to you. If you are in a job that’s a part of a helping field such as teachers, nurses, or therapists, it may be helpful to engage in self-care activities proactively if you are aware ahead of time that you will be receiving information that details trauma.

Balance

Give yourself permission to fully experience emotional reactions. Don’t keep your emotions “bottled up.”​ Whether it’s journaling, drawing, listening to music, or having quiet time to process, ensure you have a safe space to digest all of the information you’ve been told, and how to healthily work through the emotions you’re experiencing. Be sure to recognize negative coping skills like avoiding sleep, isolating yourself, or engaging in excessive alcohol consumption and substitute these strategies with the more positive coping skills.

Another component of balance is maintaining clear boundaries. If there’s a friend who is continuously sharing traumatic experiences and you’re aware that it has a negative impact on your own mental health, you may want to take some space from them, engage in other activities that don’t allow for hours of verbal sharing, or talking to them about the emotional toll it has on you. Offer to be there for them in different ways aside from listening to a narrative, and help them find additional support that they may need such as a therapist or a support group!

Connection

Maintaining our connections to support systems in our lives is a huge part of processing Secondary Trauma. While it may feel like the best solution, try and avoid isolation. While there are some moments where we benefit from time alone, don’t feel like you need to shoulder this emotional baggage on your own. Whether it’s talking it over with another friend or family member, joining a support group, journaling, attending church, or speaking to your own therapist, it’s helpful to continue to engage with the support systems around you to help manage feelings of Secondary Trauma.

Book an appointment with a counselor at Symmetry Counseling today.