The Impact of Screen Time on Families and Relationships

It’s no secret we’ve entered a completely new era in terms of technology. Twenty years ago, there were no iPhones, there was dial up internet and the only social media site was Myspace. Today, family and relationship dynamics look very different because technology has changed the way we communicate. How often do we go out to dinner and spend at least part of the meal on our phones?

If you were to look up, would you see other people in conversations or would you see kids staring at iPads while their parents scroll on their phones? There is no right or wrong way to maneuver this new age of technology. However, many couples who seek therapy mention that technology significantly impacts their interactions. This is especially noticeable in families with teenagers or toddlers, where screens often compete for attention during shared time.

Evaluating Your Family Interactions

To make the most of time with your family or significant other, it’s important to carefully consider how social media, texting, and web browsing influence your interactions. Individuals have been shown to have less developed interpersonal skills if growing up with technology than if they were forced to speak face-to-face or over the phone. If someone were to record your family time, what would it consist of? If the answer is likely sitting on the couch, watching TV, or scrolling on your phones, you may find the tips listed below very beneficial. An article written by Don and Carrie Cole on The Gottman Institute offers practical suggestions for shifting these interactions toward more positive and constructive engagement.

The Benefits of Family Meetings

As a child, I remember thinking family meetings were silly and a waste of time. However, this is an excellent way to ensure everyone’s feelings and opinions are heard before making important decisions. In terms of technology, each week coming together to determine a screen time limit that feels good for all members of the family can be very useful. When both children and adults feel that their thoughts are considered, they are far more likely to honor the agreed-upon rules. Family meetings give everyone a chance to speak, be heard, and contribute to decisions that affect the household.

Simple Rules Can Make a Big Impact

Although managing screen time can sometimes feel complicated, some decisions can be surprisingly simple. For instance, when I was growing up, phones were never allowed at the dinner table. That meant whenever we’d have a family dinner, phones would have to disappear. Simple decisions like these can have a big impact.

Planning Interactive Activities

Making an effort to plan activities can prevent falling back into old patterns of family movie nights on the couch with everyone on their phones. While a quiet movie night can be enjoyable occasionally, adding interactive activities throughout the week, such as board games, cooking together, or outdoor sports, creates opportunities for meaningful connection alongside responsible screen time.

Using Technology to Foster Connection

Inevitably, we will continue to spend time on our phones each day. Screen time does not always have to be a bad thing and can be utilized to further foster connections. Sending texts to loved ones throughout the day or sharing funny memes and interesting articles can help maintain a sense of connection, even when you’re not physically together.

Approaching Screen Time Limits with Kindness

When limits are put on things individuals enjoy, it can easily lead to conflict. It may take multiple tries to find a compromise around technology that feels good for everyone in the family. Approaching the conversation with kindness is important in making progress toward the collective goal. If your child becomes upset when a screen time limit is reached, it’s important to acknowledge and validate their feelings. Encourage them to share their thoughts during the next family meeting, reassuring them that their voice matters, without needing to change the agreed-upon boundaries.

Finding Balance in a Digital World

Screen time affects not only individual habits but also family and couple dynamics. Excessive device use can reduce face-to-face interactions, making conversations shorter or less meaningful. Even small changes, like setting aside tech-free periods in the morning or evening, can foster connection and attentiveness. Engaging in shared activities, such as cooking together, taking walks, or playing games, helps family members bond without screens interfering.

It’s also helpful to model mindful technology use, showing children how to balance online time with real-life interactions. By establishing consistent routines and prioritizing quality moments, families can enjoy the benefits of technology while maintaining strong, healthy relationships.

Embracing Technology in Family Life

Whether we like it or not, it seems the use of technology is increasing and isn’t going away anytime soon. Because of this, it’s essential to find ways to use technology thoughtfully to enhance your relationships and family life.

If you’ve found yourself struggling with interpersonal relationships or the negative effects of screen time, it may be useful to speak with a therapist. Contact Symmetry Counseling at 312-578-9990 today to schedule an appointment with one of our experienced therapists and start building healthier connections.