How Do We Stay Connected?

Hannah Hopper, LPC 

As we head into the summer months, there’s so much in our world that’s changing. Businesses are opening up, restaurants are allowing indoor dining again, and more people are beginning to feel comfortable getting together with family and friends. With things opening up and fuller schedules, many of our schedules are starting to change, and it could take some extra effort to stay connected with your partner. How you start and end each day can have a significant impact on how you feel about your relationship too. And if mornings and evenings are times of connection and warmth, that’ll help to build positive feelings about your relationship as a whole. Below are some rituals of connection you can put in place to help your relationship be stable in the midst of so much change. 

1. Morning moments

Mornings are important for setting up the day for other potential connections. You and your partner could decide to go for a run together, sip coffee on the balcony, start the day with a kiss before heading off to work, or jump in the shower and talk about a weird dream you had last night. Even though you may live with your partner and see them all the time (especially if you’re both working from home!), it still takes intentional effort to reach out and have moments of connection. 

2. Little statements of appreciation

Did your partner unload the dishwasher? Have they been working extra hard over the past several months? Do you like how they look in their new sweatshirt? Whether it’s over a text, a handwritten note, or just a passing comment, a “thanks for unloading the dishwasher” or “I appreciate how hard you’re working for your team” can help you and your partner to feel like you’re on the same team even when life gets hectic. 

3. Regular date nights

Let’s face it, life gets busy and schedules can quickly fill up with family commitments and double dates with friends. These are all good things, but they can also be a roadblock to that special time for just you and your partner to be together. Sync up your schedules and find a time that’ll work for just the two of you to get away and do something fun every week or two. Knowing you have an upcoming time set aside for the two of you will also help in the weeks when you haven’t had many moments to connect.  

4. Going to bed at the same time

Going to bed together can be one simple way to foster connection in your relationship. This article from Dr. Michelle Drouin details how recent research found that couples are more satisfied in their relationship if they put other activities on the backburner and go to bed together. This doesn’t necessarily mean sleeping at the same time, but simply being together in bed and talking, watching Netflix, or cuddling can greatly impact the connection in a relationship. Another benefit of doing this is that couples who go to bed at the same time are also likely to have better sex lives, and increased relationship satisfaction.   

Being able to establish rituals of connection is key to having a successful and intimate relationship. Symmetry Counseling has several therapists that specialize in relationships and couples counseling in Chicago, Phoenix, Washington DC, and beyond. If you’re ready to take that first step and schedule a session, you can browse our therapist bios to find someone that is the right fit for you. You can also contact Symmetry Counseling today by calling 312-578-9990 to get matched with one of our therapists.