Success Addicts: How Do You Prioritize Your Happiness?

“The pursuit of achievement distracts from the deeply ordinary activities and relationships that make life meaningful.”

The Relentless Pursuit of Booze

The relentless pursuit of booze, this title likely makes you think about a depressing story of an alcoholic amidst a downward spiral. With alcoholism, physical dependency keeps a person “committed to their vice” even though it takes away their happiness. Drinking, however, is often more than just an activity, it’s a relationship. For instance, someone might turn to alcohol not just for the buzz but as a way to cope with stress or feel connected in social situations.

Caroline Knapp, the author of Drinking: A Love Story, describes alcoholism in her memoir:

“It happened this way. I fell in love, and because the love was ruining everything I cared about, I had to fall out.”

The Relentless Pursuit of Success

Now, this seems like the title of an inspiring story, right? Maybe, but also maybe not. It could just as easily be the story of “someone whose never-ending quest for success leaves them perpetually unsatisfied and incapable of happiness.”  Although being addicted to success isn’t a “chemical medical condition,” it has countless addictive properties for many people. Literally.

Praise stimulates the neurotransmitter dopamine, a chemical linked to all addictive behaviors. This is exactly how social media keeps people hooked. Users’ dopamine levels rise from the “likes” people get after generating a post, and this keeps them coming back, again and again, scrolling hour after hour. The funny thing with success is that “people willingly sacrifice their own well-being through overwork to keep getting hits of success.” In this way, becoming addicted to the feeling of achievement can lead you to prioritize being “special” over being truly happy.

On to the Next Goal…

Our culture has trained us to believe that success makes us more attractive to others, at least until it starts to harm our lives or marriages. The problem with success is that it often will leave people dissatisfied, as most people never feel “successful enough.” The initial high lasts for a few days, then we move onto the next pursuit and goal. Psychologists call this the “hedonic treadmill,” where satisfaction wears off almost immediately, pushing us to chase the next reward to avoid “falling behind.”

“Unhappy is He Who Depends on Success to be Happy” – Alex Dia Ribeiro

Just as quitting alcohol is not easy for alcoholics, getting off this treadmill isn’t easy for success addicts either.

American culture glorifies overwork, but there are many ways to retrain your brain to pursue happiness instead of endless success. Ironically enough, you will not find true happiness on the “hedonic treadmill of your professional life.” But, you will find it in doing deeply ordinary things, just as enjoying a walk or a long conversation with a loved one, instead of working for that extra hour.

Chasing Happiness, Not Success: How Do I Do It?

Many people spend their lives working hard and trying to outperform others. Social comparison often drives how we measure worldly success, yet research shows it ultimately “strips us of life satisfaction.”

• Step one: Recognize and admit that no matter how successful you are, you will not find happiness within your success.
• Step two: Repair any relationships you may have neglected or compromised due to your focus on work or the pursuit of success.
• Step three: Show up and remember that with relationships, actions speak louder than words.
• Step four: Identify the measures of success that truly reflect what matters most in your life.

Recognize the Warning Signs

Many success addicts don’t realize they’re trapped until relationships are strained, sleep suffers, or stress dominates their days. Common signs include constant comparison to others, feeling guilty when not working, or measuring self-worth solely by achievements. For example, someone might celebrate a promotion but immediately start worrying about the next project, leaving no room to savor accomplishments. Awareness of these patterns is the first step toward regaining balance.

Redefine Your Daily Priorities

Shifting focus from achievement to well-being requires intentional choices. Simple actions like setting aside time for hobbies, engaging in playful activities with friends, or practicing mindfulness can counterbalance the work-centered mindset. Even dedicating 30 minutes a day to something unrelated to productivity, like reading a book, cooking a favorite meal, or taking a walk, can reset your mental and emotional state.

Celebrate Small Wins

Instead of waiting for major milestones, learn to value incremental progress. Completing a challenging task, offering help to a colleague, or spending quality time with family are all achievements that reinforce happiness. Recognizing these “micro-successes” encourages a sense of fulfillment without fueling the relentless chase for more. Over time, this practice strengthens your ability to find joy in ordinary life, creating a sustainable foundation for long-term happiness.

You Are What You Measure

You are what you measure is often a phrase used in business. So, if you are measuring yourself only by the worldly rewards of money, power, and prestige, you will spend your entire life on the “hedonic treadmill” and comparing yourself to others. Remember that success within life is not a bad thing, any more than wine is a bad thing. Both things can bring fun and sweetness to life. But both can become tyrannical when they replace, rather than complement, the relationships and love that should be at the center of our lives.

Take a step off the success treadmill today, pause, reflect, and start prioritizing your happiness and meaningful connections.

Reference: 

Brooks, A. (2020). ‘Success Addicts’ choose being special over being happy. Retrieved from: https://www.theatlantic.com/family/archive/2020/07/why-success-wont-make-you-happy/614731/