Signs It’s Time to Break Up

Hannah Hopper, LPC, NCC

Occasionally wondering if you should stay together or break up is pretty typical for most people when they’re beginning to get serious in their relationship. And every couple will go through tough seasons where new challenges come up that need to be worked through. There are some signs that can help you distinguish if you and your partner are in a rough season, or if it could be time to let go of the relationship. 

You’re doing all the compromising

Every relationship requires some compromise, and this is a way you can show your partner that you care for and support them. Sometimes it’s a matter of letting your partner choose which show to watch or how you’ll spend your Friday night. But other times there are bigger sacrifices needed, like moving across the country for a job or deciding whose family to spend Christmas with. If you find yourself being the one who’s making all the compromises in bigger decisions (and in conflicts) this can lead to an unequal relationship where bitterness can grow. 

You struggle to trust them

If you keep wondering if you can trust what your partner is saying or you notice that you keep fact checking their stories, this can cause resentment and hurt that can quickly damage a relationship. Relationships thrive on trust and stability, and if your relationship is missing that then it may be time to part ways. 

You daydream about breaking up

If you consider breaking up every once in a while, that’s nothing to take note of. It’s when you can’t stop daydreaming about being done with your relationship that it’s worth paying attention to. Maybe you keep hoping that the person you’re with will change, or you wish you could get out without hurting them too much. Either way, it’s worth noticing when you continually find yourself looking for a way out of the relationship. 

You’re experiencing any form of abuse

It’s never okay for your partner to attack, scare, control, or isolate you. If you’re experiencing verbal, physical, or emotional abuse, now is the time to get help It can be hard to recognize the signs of abuse, but a professional will be able to help you identify it. 

Your major values don’t align

Even if you connect well with someone and really care about them, you could still have some major differences when it comes to the big picture. Your partner may be interested in settling down and having kids, while you’d rather spend the extra money on travel and exploration. Another area to consider is differences in religious and spiritual beliefs, which could impact long-term decisions. 

You keep breaking up and getting back together

One of the most telltale signs that it’s time to break up is when you keep breaking up and then getting back together again. This kind of back and forth shows that both of you are lacking some commitment to each other, and may even show that the same issues keep popping up (and are unresolved). It’s okay to drift apart when you’re going through a challenging period, but if you keep separating and then getting back together, it could be that neither person wants to acknowledge the underlying reason for the breakup. 

If you and your partner want to get help from a professional about where to go in your relationship, it could be helpful to see a counselor. If you’d like to schedule a counseling session with Symmetry Counseling, you can browse our therapist bios to find someone that’s the right fit for you. We also have intake specialists to find a therapist that specializes in what you’re wanting to work through. You can also contact Symmetry Counseling today by calling 312-578-9990 to get matched with a professional counselor.