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John Gottman is a well-known researcher of intimate relationships , and he developed a method of couple therapy based on many of his findings. One piece of his theory that recently received media attention is the significance of couple time in improving your relationship. Given that this is a concept I almost always bring up in my sessions with couples, I naturally took an interest in what Gottman identified as the ways you can use six hours…

“As challenging as it can feel, it is the responsibility of the approached partner to be willing to listen to the hurt partner’s request.” All relationships encounter points where one or both partners become irritated with the other. Ideally, many of these irritations are accepted as just part of the marriage deal. Just because your husband or wife does something that bothers you does not mean you need to bring it to his or her attention. Tolerating…

It is well documented that the transition to parenthood correlates with a precipitous drop in relationship satisfaction for new parents. This dip in perceived satisfaction largely persists until the children launch and leave home. While this trend is well supported by research, plenty of couples choose to undergo the transition to parenthood and many lack adequate resources to support the intimate or marital relationship through this period. The first step in combating this trend is awareness and…

Whether it is recognized or not, everyone has been a victim of emotional eating at one time or another. You’re feeling stressed answering a million messages at work and reach for the candy jar and start mindlessly munching. Perhaps you had a hard week and on Friday night you get home, order a pizza and devour almost the entire thing. Of course there’s the classic scene in romantic comedies where someone gets dumped and begins eating a…

The type of toxic workplace where employees feel unsupported, neglected, or unacknowledged gets little serious attention in modern culture. Most workplaces have increased efforts to limit and eradicate more direct forms of abuse, from harassment to verbal derision, but less effort has been made to understand the importance of validation at work. Validation is not only acknowledgement of one’s feelings but an understanding that allows a person to feel heard and valued. An example of validation is,…

For mothers, similar to those in relationships on Valentine’s Day, there can be a lot of expectations for Mother’s Day. There are hopes of breakfast in bed, partners taking over household tasks, cards and flowers, and kids trying to be extra good that day. It feels great to be appreciated by those who depend on you for so much. Mothers deserve this kind of admiration, and it can be disappointing not to receive it.