Five Questions to Think About When Considering “Should I Date Them?”

Karolina Jasko

We understand that dating around can be exhilarating for many reasons at Symmetry Counseling, but it can also be overwhelming. There comes a certain point when you’re seeing someone where you ask yourself the question… “Do I want to be with them?”. This can be a big decision, so you want to make sure you’re thinking about it clearly. If you are struggling with relationships or want some advice on how to get started, contact us today to get in touch with a licensed therapist who specializes in relationship problems to help get you on the right foot.

Questions To Ask Yourself About Any Relationship

You want to ensure you’re finding someone who will lead you to a fulfilling, loving, and healthy relationship. The best way to go about this question is by asking yourself some very important questions.

• How do they treat me? This tells you a lot about a person but also gives you insight into how this person may feel about you. If you notice that he/she treats you the way you treat them and how you want to be treated, that is a sign they may be a good match for you. If you have to question why they treat you a certain way and feel poorly after interactions with them, then that may be a sign they’re not a good match for you.
• Do they try to change me? A big part of being in a relationship is having someone in your life who is there for you and truly accepts you for who you are. They may encourage you to grow as an individual, but they should not attempt to change the person you are, especially the qualities you like in yourself. 
• Do they fit into my life? This is someone who is going to be a part of your life. This includes your job, your friends and family, your goals, etc. Ask yourself how they show up in these parts of your life and whether it’s a way in which you want and/or need them to be. They should be supportive of your goals and values, and you of theirs. If you have big disagreements on how you see things or envision your lives to look, that’s a big red flag. If you can envision them there, then that may be a sign they should be.
• Do they make me feel safe and secure? Emotional and physical safety and security are crucial to have from a partner to make you feel comfortable with them. You should feel as if you can turn to them in a time of need and know that they’ll be able to support you in the way you expect them to.
• Do they make me feel cared for? The ultimate goal for a relationship is traditionally to fall in love and move forward together in life. Love is a big component of relationships. Care and love tend to go hand in hand. If someone is making you feel cared for, it’s a good indication that they will also make you feel loved in the future, if not already. Paying attention to how someone makes you feel is very important when thinking about starting a relationship with them. 

Remember To Love Yourself Above All Else

All in all, figuring out whether you want to be with someone can feel confusing. You want to make sure you’re making the right decision for yourself, and that’s completely valid. These questions will help guide you into making the best decision for yourself. But also remember to give yourself some self-compassion. We don’t know what the future holds for us, even if we plan it out in the best way possible. Do what you can to best prepare yourself, but also relieve the pressure off of yourself. Do what makes you happy and do what makes you feel good. 

At Symmetry Counseling, we’re here to support your journey to healthier relationships. Let these questions be your compass, guiding you towards fulfilling love. If you’re facing relationship challenges or need expert advice, reach out to our licensed therapists today. Prioritize your happiness and well-being—it’s the key to a brighter future.