You Are a Badass: How Do I Stop Doubting My Greatness? Part I

By: Bridgette W. Gottwald, LPC, NCC

Are you looking to identify and change some of the self-sabotaging beliefs and behaviors that inhibit you from getting what you want? If so, Jen Sincero’s number-one New York Times Best Seller You Are a Badass would be a great place for you to start. This blog will share important lessons, reflections, and takeaways from this book.

How Did I Get This Way? 

In my practice, I have always emphasized that it is not about what is wrong with you, it’s about what has happened to you in your life. It’s not your fault that you are “messed up” but it is your fault when you stay “messed up.” You have received messages from other people around you about the way that things are. Our conscious mind thinks that it is in full control, but often it’s not. Our subconscious mind doesn’t think about anything, but it does remain in control. When we think to ourselves, “WTF is my problem?!” the answer to that question always lies within the subconscious mind – some sort of negative belief you have been dragging around without even realizing it. According to Sincero, “when our subconscious beliefs are out of alignment with the things and experiences we want in our conscious minds (and hearts), it creates confusing conflicts between what we’re trying to create and what we’re actually creating.”

The Brain 

Be careful of the things you are telling yourself. According to Sincero, “our thoughts become our words, our words become our beliefs, our beliefs become our actions, our actions become our habits and our habits become our realities.” Read that again!

Essentially, our lives are comprised of small little habits. Which ones are working well for you and not so well for you? Although it would be wise to not be wasting your time wondering what other people think of you, shockingly, jealousy can be a helpful thing. Typically, there is a negative connotation with the “J word” but you can use it in your favor. Take note of who you are jealous of, what you are jealous of, and why you are jealous of it. It can give you intel and direction to what you want.

According to Sincero, two questions you should consider when making decisions about your life are the follows:

1. Is this something I want to be, do, or have?
2. Is this going to take me in the direction I want to go (not should go)?

How Do I Not Care About What Other People Think and Be the Best Version of Myself? 

1. Ask yourself why

• Why are you about to say or do something? To be well-liked? To put someone down because you are feeling insecure? Revenge? Pay attention to your motivations and come from a place of strength and truth. Coming from a place of integrity will always lead you to victory.

2. Always do your best

• If you are giving it your all and doing your best, you can be proud of yourself and not worry about what everyone else thinks.

3. Trust your intuition

• You have all of the answers you need inside of you.

4. Find a temporary role model

• Who is your mentor, hero, or role model? Think about why this person is inspiring and impressive to you and what this person would do in certain situations. This will help you to learn to make good decisions as you step away from caring what others think.

5. Love yourself

• This one is the most important, and you should find a way to do this no matter what anyone else thinks.

Check out part two of this two-part blog post series to learn more from Jen Sincero’s book, You Are a Badass.