relationships
Steven Losardo, AMFT You began your dating relationship before the Covid-19 restrictions started. Once the pandemic hit, you were able to adjust. There was careful planning for dates and spending time in each other’s homes that included testing and waiting for negative results. Further, before getting intimate, you were “quarantining for two weeks without symptoms — before close, mask-free proximity” (Sarmiento, 2020). You even ran an assessment of each other’s community transmission rates, preexisting conditions or health…
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You know those old pair of slacks you like to slip into when you can’t be bothered to make an effort? As comfortable as they may feel, over time they become worn and tattered and you may not even realize. The same can happen with loved ones too; while the deep feeling of enduring companionship with someone you have come to know on so many levels creates a strong bond, we can become so used to our…
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Musical ballads, romcom films, epic poetry and glossy magazines; the whole world seems to be talking about love. Whether it is falling head over heels or out of love, pining for an absent or unrequited love, declaring your affection or breaking up, we have fallen in love with love. It is no surprise then that it is so easy to lose your emotional anchor and get carried away with strong feelings, cast adrift on a love boat…
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Joined at the hip, two peas in a pod, stuck together like glue; when couples first fall in love, the time they spend together can be intense both emotionally and in terms of the physical time spent together. As time goes by, however, this bond can turn into co-dependence and create a feeling of being stuck in a rut. Whether you are in the first bloom of a blossoming romance or are way down the path of…
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When communication breaks down between a couple, the relationship can become incredibly painful, confusing and even destructive. The key to communicating effectively is to be able to verbalize how you feel and what you think. The challenge is to do so without loading conversations with complaints, criticisms, accusations or put-downs. Communicating for relationship success When you want to be open and air any grievances, or you want to tackle a problem that is bothering you, it helps…
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When you are a child there is a natural order of things; adults set the rules while brothers and sisters vie for their place, creating a familial hierarchy and chain of command. But what happens when you grow up and become part of a couple? You now have a blend of different family members in your lives and it is not always obvious what roles, responsibilities, and relationships everyone will respond to or take on. To achieve…
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Expectations are attitudes and behaviors that we expect from other people. We are taught – explicitly and implicitly – that there are standards of behaviors, what we call the norms, when it comes to how we should treat each other. We see it being modeled in our family, and we also see it in school, in our community and the workplace, on TV and other media including the Internet. It’s normal to have expectations for all of…
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If you’ve ever had your heart broken, you know how painful it can be. There are times when the pain is so bad it becomes physical. Memories of happy times pop up uninvited anytime during the day, making you feel really sad and alone. One day you may feel ok, but then you wake up in the middle of the night badly missing your ex. The yearning can be intense. It may be hard to believe now,…
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How do you interact with a romantic partner? Take a minute and ask yourself: Are you usually clingy and possessive? Do you have a tendency to push your partners away? Or are you comfortable with both giving and receiving love to your partner? This pattern of thinking, feeling, and behaving towards someone we’re in a relationship with is called an attachment style. There have been numerous studies conducted on attachment, many of which have consistently shown that…
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Most of us work hard; we’ve families to support, debts to pay, and a retirement to prepare for. But for some, it seems like work is the only focus; they work for 12 or more hours a day and six to seven days a week, regardless of their partner’s feelings on the matter. After all, they seem to be saying, all the work they’re doing is ultimately for the family, right? Wrong. Studies have shown that spending…
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