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Breakups and separations are one of the most common reasons for which people initially seek therapy with a psychologist or counselor. These life experiences often stir up our deepest insecurities and fears about both the past and future. This seems to be true whether you are the one pursuing or the one on the receiving end of the breakup. While they can bring up intense, often overwhelming feelings, breakups can also bring an infusion of new energy…
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By Andrew McNaughton LCSW CADC The Cost Benefit Analysis is a useful tool in determining the pros and cons of the potential outcomes of a difficult decision. Regardless of whether it is a potentially life altering decision, such as changing jobs, getting married, moving out of town, quitting drinking, ending a relationship, or something less urgent, like whether to go on a vacation, purchase a new HDTV, or leave work early to go to the Cubs game,…
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We all have beginnings as children, playing, laughing, loving, and interacting with the world as if it were magical. Even though we age, our earlier life experiences are still within us. Those creative, carefree, and childlike parts are still there, and so are any challenging and traumatic experiences we may have experienced in our youth. Both the positive and challenging experiences can affect our mental health into adulthood. As we age, it is common to consciously and/or…
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Are you feeling stuck in your life? Trapped in your feelings of anxiety? Unsure why you continue to engage in behavior that doesn’t work for you? When was the last time you took an honest inventory of your life? Spiritual giants, therapists, and 12-step programs all espoused the necessity of consistent self-reflection. It was Socrates who reportedly said that “the unexamined life is not worth living,” yet his remark remains just as true today as it…
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“Self-care” has become a familiar term in pop culture and is commonly promoted by Millennials through hashtags, personal blogging, and other media outlets. Therapists commonly talk to their clients about the importance of practicing self-care on a daily basis as a way to help with anxiety, depression, and other mental health concerns as well as a way to improve overall well-being. However, what may not be talked about as much is what self-care actually is and why…
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By: Anne Brennan Malec, PsyD, LMFT Do you want to have a relationship style that meets the needs of the 21st-century family? This is a style that is mutually beneficial and emotionally rewarding. This is a relationship in which responsibility, accountability, and decision-making are shared. Marriage counseling can help, if your relationship is not where you’d like it to be. In order to achieve this, with or without the help of a counselor, you should try to…
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It probably comes as no surprise that many couples have difficulty keeping their “spark” alive throughout their relationship. As time goes on, the “infatuation stage” wears off anywhere from six months to two years in, and often, desire decreases and stressors increase as a couple has children, more financial stressors, and more professional stressors that may lead them to feel the need for marriage counseling. However, some couples seem to maintain their intimacy and desire over time,…
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Many of us spend a lot of time, money, and effort into making our tough feelings go away. When someone says, “I’m feeling really anxious” (or sad, overwhelmed, depressed, etc.), a common response is to see your doctor for medication, talk to a psychologist to work through it, or go do something that will distract you from what you’re feeling. The general goal of doing these things is to make us feel better, or to avoid sitting…
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By: Alexa Ehrlich If so many people crave a happy partnered relationship, why do so many struggle to maintain the relationship for a lifetime? According to Dr. Anne Brennan Malec in her book Marriage in Modern Life, “When infatuation inevitably diminishes and real life intrudes, your partner must remain a priority, or you will eventually run into trouble.” A relationship will not always be so effortless; this is often a false impression most partners make. Most relationship success…
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By: Margaret Reynolds, LCPC Part 1 (Navigating the Terrain) What follows is a visualization exercise to help you find perspective and develop awareness, appreciation, and authorship for your life’s journey. This will involve painting a mental picture for yourself and then looking at it in three distinct ways to learn and grow from the experience. Doing this will come naturally to some and will be more difficult for others. I recommend that you make notes or sketches…
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