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An important discussion you should have to help keep the peace in your relationship concerns your division of labor. Household chores are something we all have to deal with, and partners often enter the relationship with different expectations for who is responsible for what and how often a certain task needs to be completed to feel comfortable in your home. Follow these simple steps to take an active role in securing a division of labor that fits…
Read MoreHow often do you check Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, etc.? Do you find yourself comparing your lives to others’ social media posts or pictures and feeling down? Are you afraid that someone is doing something better than you are, having fun without you, or you are constantly missing out on something? Do you think “man, they have such a better life/make more money/have nicer stuff than me?” Do you attend events you don’t want to, spend money you…
Read MoreIn our culture, there is a lot of pressure put on us to have good sex and not a lot of room to talk about if our sex life is suffering. Whether you are unhappy with the frequency or the quality of your sex life, you may not know how to talk about it with your partner or be unwilling to try because you are embarrassed, worried about hurting your partner’s feelings, or simply because you doubt…
Read MoreWhen faced with a problem, we naturally desire to solve it. When that problem is a person we love suffering with anxiety, the quick-fix instinct can end up causing more damage and leave the anxious person feeling distant and misunderstood. Although often very well-intentioned, many people end up telling things to anxious individuals that are unhelpful or may even increase their anxiety. To keep yourself from hurting your anxious partner, you need to increase your understanding of…
Read MoreBy: Anne Brennan Malec, PsyD, LMFT Many of us may be familiar with the term emotional intelligence, but fewer may be so with the idea of financial intelligence. Financial intelligence is the practice of managing finances and spending in a way that is in keeping with a budget and one’s financial goals. Financial intelligence is also the ability to recognize financial behaviors and decisions, both positive and negative, and understand the impact or consequences of them. That…
Read MoreYes, Money Can Impact Your Financial, Physical, Social, and Mental Health! Money and financial issues can have a significant impact on a person, both positive and negative, in all aspects of their lives. It’s being able to identify when money and finances are causing a negative impact and when it is time to seek help. People often think that money and financial issues and/or stress only impact you financially, but it can have significant negative impact on…
Read MoreIt is naturally unappealing to say “no” in many situations where people we care about or want to impress ask us a favor. Instinctively, we do not want to disappoint or risk having the other person think less of us. Other times we do not want to make the other person feel the sting of rejection. This stems from an old, adaptive strategy for survival that dictated a greater chance of staying alive if we could live…
Read MoreI use the term “vulnerability” often with my clients, and many of them sigh at the use of such a therapeutic word. It is therapeutic in the sense that it is a term I learned in my training to become a therapist to describe certain sensitivities inherent to all people, but it is also the most accurate word I can use for what I am talking about. We all have vulnerabilities. We all have parts of ourselves…
Read More“I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” ― Maya Angelou One of the primary issues that brings couples into therapy is communication problems. Each person feels that their partner has shut them out of their inner world, and often, both people have become afraid to be vulnerable with each other. This results in a sort of stand off, where…
Read MoreWhen changing a habit or trying a new routine, many people claim willpower as the biggest obstacle to achieving their goal. Willpower is seen as a strength. It is how people exercise control over temptation and exercise persistence to learn new things. It is the conqueror of procrastination and a cherished ally when it is available. And that is where many people find a problem. Willpower is not always available. Much like attention or physical energy, willpower…
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