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When communication breaks down between a couple, the relationship can become incredibly painful, confusing and even destructive. The key to communicating effectively is to be able to verbalize how you feel and what you think. The challenge is to do so without loading conversations with complaints, criticisms, accusations or put-downs. Communicating for relationship success When you want to be open and air any grievances, or you want to tackle a problem that is bothering you, it helps…
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When you are a child there is a natural order of things; adults set the rules while brothers and sisters vie for their place, creating a familial hierarchy and chain of command. But what happens when you grow up and become part of a couple? You now have a blend of different family members in your lives and it is not always obvious what roles, responsibilities, and relationships everyone will respond to or take on. To achieve…
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Ask most people what they want in life, and they will probably tell you they just want to be happy. Happiness tends to be something we all seek. But what exactly is it? Of course, like many things in life, happiness will always mean different things to different people. It could depend on their culture, upbringing, or emotional background. Because of this, it can be hard to pin down a definition of happiness. That being said, we…
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People change, situations and circumstances change, and relationships change; life is an evolving journey where change is inevitable. And while change is ideally approached by welcoming it with open arms, the fallout from life can sometimes cause the acceptance of change to be a painful and difficult challenge. This is especially true following a breakup. A million ways to say goodbye Married couples who’ve been wed for decades, long-term partners, and even fiery flings; relationships are varied…
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Love is in the air with thousands of brides and grooms exchanging vows today, promising an everlasting union. Some will make it, many won’t. Once the wedding party is over and the honeymoon tan faded, relationship reality bites; and for nearly half of all married couples their future has divorce written all over it. As nearlyweds it can be easy to get carried away planning dream nuptials, however making Mr. and Mrs. last longer is about focusing…
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How often do you wonder if you are good enough? Good enough as an employee, parent, child, friend, or spouse? When you look around, perhaps you evaluate yourself against those around you and simply wonder if you are falling short somewhere. Are your kids as happy as the neighbor’s children? Do you spend enough time with your aging parents? Are you satisfying your partner enough? Sometimes these are thoughts that plague us all day, chipping away at…
Read MoreCouples too often split soon after infidelity, before considering alternatives or attempting to repair the relationship. (Continue reading … )
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As a couples therapist, I fairly regularly talk to romantic partners about the different ways they feel distant from one another. Sometimes it is sexually, other times it is about a mismatch in coparenting styles, but mostly couples simply say they do not feel “intimate” anymore. For almost all couples, there was at some point in their relationship an intimate connection. Usually if we delve into this we discover that, in the beginning of the relationship, both…
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Most everyone has been hurt by others at some point in their lives; hurt or abuse can be physical, verbal, emotional, or sexual. Very few, if any of us, are exempt from a variety of situations that cause us pain. Some people have managed to move on from these situations; even major transgressions like physical or sexual abuse have been forgiven, but there are others who nurture the pain, who can’t forgive despite knowing that it might…
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We’ve all heard how beneficial it is to forgive those who have done us wrong, and we have been told time and again that we can’t really move on unless we have forgiven them. However, we all know that forgiving someone is easier said than done. Resentment is something that we find easy to hold on to; no matter how long ago it had happened, it would always remain fresh in our mind. Definition: Resentment Resentment is…
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