Something’s Gotta Give: Managing Anger in Your Relationship
All relationships experience some level of conflict, and what often comes with conflict is anger. At its core, anger is a secondary emotion, meaning it is a reaction to a primary emotional response. Common primary emotions that trigger anger are hurt, fear, pain, or rejection. Anger can develop as an automatic response to these perceived…
Read MoreA Workaholic’s Guide to Simple Self Care
Self care means intentionally prioritizing your own basic needs for health, relaxation, stress reduction, and the pursuit of personal interests. While this term may connote shirking responsibilities so that you can spend a day at the spa, it simply means being aware that without recharging your own batteries, you will burn out or perhaps suffer…
Read MoreLessons in Love: Expressions of Love
It is one thing to love and quite another to feel loved. Without feeling loved, you may become disillusioned with your partner and your relationship. To make your partner feel loved and appreciated, it is essential to understand how best to express love so that your partner can feel it and to be open with…
Read MoreA Newlywed’s Guide to Setting Realistic Marriage Expectations
You have said, “I do,” signed the marriage license, and perhaps even celebrated your wedding with family and friends. With all the hard work of planning and executing a wedding behind you, now is the time to sit back, relax, and enjoy life as a married couple, right? The truth, of course, is that this…
Read MoreLessons in Love: Love is Dynamic
Love exists in many forms that complement a variety of relationships. Think of the love you feel for your partner versus the love you feel for a friend, relative, pet, or hobby. It is restrictive to think that there is a “right” kind of love to strive for, which may lead you farther astray from…
Read MoreLove is Conditional: Busting Relationship Myths
There are numerous stereotypes about love, relationships, and marriage, and some of them have formed into broadly shared myths. Unfortunately, couples can be led astray by myths that promote unhealthy relationship habits or prevent partners from adopting healthier styles of relating. Often in therapy, I work with couples to break down commonly held myths so…
Read MoreGuidelines for a Good Apology
Offering a good apology to someone may seem easy, but doing it right requires attention and care. Simply saying, “I’m sorry” does not necessarily absolve you from your mistake; truly conveying remorse involves much more. No matter the circumstances, we each need to take personal responsibility for our own actions, regardless of how the past…
Read MoreShowing Interest in Your Partner: Home-based Therapy for Your Relationship
Over time, partners frequently lose the fervor they once had to understand and actively appreciate the other. This is partially due to simply knowing your partner better. After being with this person for so many years, day in and day out, you certainly learn a thing or two about your partner’s likes, dislikes, annoyances, and…
Read MoreTaking Control: Achieving a More Fulfilling Relationship Using Gottman’s Magic 6 Hours
John Gottman is a well-known researcher of intimate relationships , and he developed a method of couple therapy based on many of his findings. One piece of his theory that recently received media attention is the significance of couple time in improving your relationship. Given that this is a concept I almost always bring up…
Read More3 Tips for Dating if You Are Socially Anxious
Many people say that dating is difficult and unpleasant. Rarely do you hear someone express unbridled excitement about going on yet another date, and that is because for a lot of people, dating is hard work! It requires one to be vulnerable yet energetic and engaging yet quiet enough to listen to your date. Even…
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