Which Soulmate are You Looking For?
With romantic relationships, many people search for a partner that is different than the rest. Someone who just gets you, and someone who will love you unconditionally. People search for their soulmate. However, the way the term soulmate is used today differs greatly from where it originated, and partners can become significantly constrained from finding…
Read MoreCouple Therapy before Saying “I do”: Common Questions about Premarital Counseling
When someone tells you that he or she is receiving counseling, you may naturally feel inclined to ask, “What’s wrong?” However, therapy is not only for managing problems that currently exist but a way to prevent problems from occurring and maintain progress. One form of therapy that is frequently misunderstood is premarital counseling. Why is…
Read MoreA Therapist’s Guide to Writing Your Wedding Vows
For many couples, writing wedding vows can feel like a daunting task. What do you want to say to a crowd of loved ones about your future spouse? How do you capture it all? While there is certainly no “right” or “wrong” way to approach writing and reciting wedding vows, it might behoove brides and…
Read MoreThe Successful Blended Family
Three (or Four) questions for Anne Brennan Malec about Remarriage Okay, I am not anywhere near the stage of remarriage, let alone re-falling madly in love. Nor are most of us, at least in the immediate aftermath of divorce. But it hovers out there—the aspiration to meet someone new, recommit, perhaps remarry. We’ve all heard…
Read MoreSomething’s Gotta Give: Managing Anger in Your Relationship
All relationships experience some level of conflict, and what often comes with conflict is anger. At its core, anger is a secondary emotion, meaning it is a reaction to a primary emotional response. Common primary emotions that trigger anger are hurt, fear, pain, or rejection. Anger can develop as an automatic response to these perceived…
Read MoreA Workaholic’s Guide to Simple Self Care
Self care means intentionally prioritizing your own basic needs for health, relaxation, stress reduction, and the pursuit of personal interests. While this term may connote shirking responsibilities so that you can spend a day at the spa, it simply means being aware that without recharging your own batteries, you will burn out or perhaps suffer…
Read MoreLessons in Love: Expressions of Love
It is one thing to love and quite another to feel loved. Without feeling loved, you may become disillusioned with your partner and your relationship. To make your partner feel loved and appreciated, it is essential to understand how best to express love so that your partner can feel it and to be open with…
Read MoreA Newlywed’s Guide to Setting Realistic Marriage Expectations
You have said, “I do,” signed the marriage license, and perhaps even celebrated your wedding with family and friends. With all the hard work of planning and executing a wedding behind you, now is the time to sit back, relax, and enjoy life as a married couple, right? The truth, of course, is that this…
Read MoreLessons in Love: Love is Dynamic
Love exists in many forms that complement a variety of relationships. Think of the love you feel for your partner versus the love you feel for a friend, relative, pet, or hobby. It is restrictive to think that there is a “right” kind of love to strive for, which may lead you farther astray from…
Read MoreLove is Conditional: Busting Relationship Myths
There are numerous stereotypes about love, relationships, and marriage, and some of them have formed into broadly shared myths. Unfortunately, couples can be led astray by myths that promote unhealthy relationship habits or prevent partners from adopting healthier styles of relating. Often in therapy, I work with couples to break down commonly held myths so…
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