Know Yourself First: The Importance of Self-Awareness in Relationships
A significant part of couple therapy involves improving self-awareness. Because you cannot fix a problem until you are aware of its source, it is important to understand what drives you so you can better control your subconscious impulses. For example, people develop survival strategies during interpersonal conflict in an effort to protect oneself from a…
Read MoreNavigating the Normal Power Struggle in Relationships
In any relationship, there will be a struggle for power – an innate drive to assess and understand the dynamic of the relationship. Who is in charge? Can I trust this person as my leader? Is this person trying to challenge my authority? Such thoughts are often subconscious, occurring beneath the surface and completely hidden…
Read More"How Can I Forgive You?": Overcoming Common Obstacles to Forgiveness
Every couple will be faced with the challenge of forgiveness. Many times, forgiveness will be required for small conflicts, such as forgetting to start the dishwasher or booking the wrong flight. Other times, partners will be asked to forgive larger betrayals, such as verbal abuse or an affair. Whether for big or small hurts, forgiveness…
Read MoreSay “I’m Sorry”: The Importance of Apologizing in Relationships
Apologies and forgiveness are pivotal aspects of intimate relationships. Saying “I’m sorry” is not about admitting who is right or who is wrong but about acknowledging when a wrong is perceived and empathizing with feeling hurt. Efforts to apologize signify a desire to put your partner and your relationship ahead of yourself. Without an apology,…
Read MoreOpposites Attract, but Do They Last? How to Negotiate Key Differences in Your Relationship
Perhaps you’re a healthy eater and you’re in love with someone who orders extra sausage and pepperoni on his pizza. Or maybe you’re a neat freak who can’t stand it when your guy leaves piles of his stuff all over the house. What seems like no big deal at the beginning of a relationship can…
Read MoreRelationship Risks You Should Be Taking
Being in an intimate relationship requires taking risks. There is no way around it – in order for your partner to know who you really are, you must be vulnerable. You have to reveal your soft spots, your weaknesses, and your authentic self in order to create a deep connection with your partner. Of course,…
Read MoreWhich Soulmate are You Looking For?
With romantic relationships, many people search for a partner that is different than the rest. Someone who just gets you, and someone who will love you unconditionally. People search for their soulmate. However, the way the term soulmate is used today differs greatly from where it originated, and partners can become significantly constrained from finding…
Read MoreCouple Therapy before Saying “I do”: Common Questions about Premarital Counseling
When someone tells you that he or she is receiving counseling, you may naturally feel inclined to ask, “What’s wrong?” However, therapy is not only for managing problems that currently exist but a way to prevent problems from occurring and maintain progress. One form of therapy that is frequently misunderstood is premarital counseling. Why is…
Read MoreA Therapist’s Guide to Writing Your Wedding Vows
For many couples, writing wedding vows can feel like a daunting task. What do you want to say to a crowd of loved ones about your future spouse? How do you capture it all? While there is certainly no “right” or “wrong” way to approach writing and reciting wedding vows, it might behoove brides and…
Read MoreThe Successful Blended Family
Three (or Four) questions for Anne Brennan Malec about Remarriage Okay, I am not anywhere near the stage of remarriage, let alone re-falling madly in love. Nor are most of us, at least in the immediate aftermath of divorce. But it hovers out there—the aspiration to meet someone new, recommit, perhaps remarry. We’ve all heard…
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