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“I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” ― Maya Angelou One of the primary issues that brings couples into therapy is communication problems. Each person feels that their partner has shut them out of their inner world, and often, both people have become afraid to be vulnerable with each other. This results in a sort of stand off, where…
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When changing a habit or trying a new routine, many people claim willpower as the biggest obstacle to achieving their goal. Willpower is seen as a strength. It is how people exercise control over temptation and exercise persistence to learn new things. It is the conqueror of procrastination and a cherished ally when it is available. And that is where many people find a problem. Willpower is not always available. Much like attention or physical energy, willpower…
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Many of us are caregivers in our personal or professional lives, or both. On a personal level, caregiving may involve caring for small children, an older or ailing parent, a sick friend or sibling, or even for a pet. Professionally, we may work in high-stress environments with significant pressure to provide output, we may care for and heal patients or represent clients, and often we take on our client or employer’s needs. In order to succeed in both personal and professional realms, it’s important to be able to identify “caregiver fatigue” in ourselves and to remedy it with self-care before we burn out.
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Although increasingly common in our culture, many blended families struggle and suffer excess stress around what was hoped to be a joyful joining of two families. There are no healthy cultural role models for blended families, the most notable example being the highly unrealistic Brady Bunch. This leaves partners struggling to juggle the needs of the new intimate relationship, their children, their spouse’s children, and any ex-partners, while also trying to meet personal needs. It is very…
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Financial Therapy Blog 2.14.16 Why is it so difficult to talk to your family, loved ones, friends, or colleagues about money? What is it about money that makes it so taboo? Around two thirds of American adults, regardless of race, gender, or economic status, are stressed about money and yet we aren’t talking about it. Financial therapy is a way to learn how to bring up and feel comfortable with talking about money and finances, learn skills…
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When conflict occurs in an intimate relationship, something is triggered in each partner. To some, it may feel like a slow boil, a tingle or a buzz that grows stronger with each word that you interpret as insulting, disrespectful, or mean. To others, it is like flipping a switch. One moment you are calm and collected in your thoughts while talking to your partner, and the next, you are full throttle trying to protect yourself from a…
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The United States Preventive Services Task Force, a government-appointed health panel, recently recommended that all pregnant women be screened for depression regardless of prior risk factors. The task force notes that using evidence-based screening tests, such as the Edinburgh Postnatal Depression Scale, can help reduce depressive symptoms in women with depression and decrease the prevalence of depression in a given population.
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In 2005, Sky Travel publicized a press release sighting the third Monday in January, or thereabouts, to be the unhappiest day of the year. They and other companies used an equation with variables such as weather and motivation to calculate this unhappy day and thus inspire customers to take a vacation or buy an alcoholic product. The day was dubbed Blue Monday. The idea that this is the unhappiest day of the year might make sense to…
Read MoreThe end of the year is a time of reflection, and we would like to honor that with a compilation of tips and resources for you and your relationship. Looking back on 2015, how do you think you did with your relationship? What fights seemed big at the time but now are hardly remembered? How have you grown intimately? Where would you like to see yourselves by the end of next year? We have written a lot…
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New Year resolutions are about embracing change and self-improvement. The motivation comes from reflecting on the past year and the inspiration of a new year to come. This same act of thoughtful reflection and preparation can greatly benefit your intimate relationship. It is unfortunate that the same level of attention given to self-improvement around the new year is not typically shared from a relationship standpoint. Just like you change and grow over time individually, relationships evolve and…
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