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Every couple argues. It is a part of being in a partnership, and contrary to popular belief, arguing is actually healthy for your relationship. Arguing and disagreeing on important issues in your relationship can perpetuate growth, both individually and as a couple, and can facilitate a deeper understanding and appreciation of each other. However, arguing and fighting often gets a bad reputation because many couples do not know how to argue in a healthy and effective manner.…

“I can’t adult today.” It is a funny catch phrase that has recently seen a lot of popularity and trending in social media. It probably speaks to many of us, possibly quite often too, when the stress, responsibilities, and difficulties of being an adult seem like too much and we wish for the days when we were younger, living with our parents, possibly job and money stress free, and living “the life.” But the reality is that…

I will often see couples who are attending couples therapy to work on their communication. While many couples have deeply rooted patterns in how they communicate that are unhealthy and ineffective, many miscommunications and conflicts stem from gender differences in communication. Typically, not always, men are problem-solvers while women prefer validation and empathy. Let me paint a picture that may seem all too familiar to you. A woman is getting ready to go out and is trying…

It is amazing the power and capabilities our thoughts have in relation to our moods, emotions, behaviors, reactions, and interactions with other people. One positive or negative thought has the power to significantly improve or worsen a situation or our reaction to it. Most often our thoughts are such an automatic process or response that we fail to see the impact they actually have on us. If we take the time to identify and acknowledge our thoughts,…

Love Like New: Reintegrating basic tools of dating into a lifelong marriage Stephanie Sarmas, Licensed Clinical Social Worker Symmetry Counseling Chicago A rush of excitement as you answer the phone to finalize plans for an upcoming date, the anticipation of seeing your new partner again evokes such joy and giddiness insurmountable to anything you’ve ever experienced. The mere thought of learning more about your partner triggers an exhilarating attraction and fascination, underlying, there is a genuine desire…

When I see a client for individual therapy who is coping with the loss of a relationship, they will often say, “I feel like someone died.” I will respond and say, “Yes, that’s exactly right. When a relationship ends, you must mourn the relationship.” Just the way you would mourn the death of someone, you must give yourself the time and space to mourn for the loss of your relationship. People who have gone through a break-up…

Do you know how much your significant other makes? What about the amount of debt that he or she has? Have you two talked about spending and budgeting? Do you have a plan for how large financial decisions will be made or how expenses and bills will be paid? Is there a set amount you can spend before you have a discussion with your significant other? Do you two meet regularly to go over financial planning and…

Take your vitamins. Brush and floss your teeth. Exercise regularly. Eat less red meat and processed foods. Decrease your intake of sodium and sugar. Drink more water. Get enough sleep. Sit less. Have regular check-ups with your doctor and dentist. Most of us do some of these habits regularly in the hope of preventing something negative from happening to our physical health and over all well-being. We put time and effort into healthy behaviors, habits, and decisions…

When couples transition to parenthood, there is an understandable expectation that life will be different. We will be more tired. We will have less time for each other. Our priorities need to change. All of these are natural thoughts partners might experience, but no expectation can perfectly match the reality of this significant transition. Being flexible and open to each other is paramount to managing the relationship safely into parenthood.

Gratitude, per the Merriam-Webster Dictionary, is defined as “a feeling of appreciation or thanks; the state of being grateful.” Reading that definition, gratitude would appear as if it were something very simple to do or easy to feel, like it should just happen naturally with no effort involved whatsoever. But as many of us probably know firsthand, feeling or showing gratitude towards ourselves or others can often times not happen and is not the way most people…