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Let’s face it, uncertainty or the unknown can often times be scary and make us anxious. When something is uncertain or unknown, we tend to ask ourselves questions such as: “What could or will happen?” “What if the result is bad or I don’t like it?” “How will I deal with the situation if it turns out bad?” “What if I am not able to handle the outcome?” We think these questions help us to better prepare for the future by considering possibilities and thinking we can plan for them, but in reality, they are only causing more harm than good.

With the cold weather months upon us, darkness creeping in earlier and earlier, and less daylight hours available, it is important to address the topic of depression and more specifically, Seasonal Affective Disorder. I get asked often by my clients what they can do to help them with the “funk” they feel during the dark and cold winter months, their low mood and energy levels, and even if Seasonal Affective Disorder is a “real thing” and how…

Not too long ago, when a relationship ended, it was relatively easy to cut them out of your life. Sure, you may remember their phone number, their address, and may have run into them from time to time if you are both living in the same city or neighborhood. However, once you broke up, you weren’t bombarded with pictures of them with their friends and family, on vacation, or with their new partner. Thanks to social media,…

After experiencing one of the most polarizing election campaigns in recent history, it is natural to feel ambivalent or anxious about upcoming holiday gatherings that usually include people with a combination of opposing opinions and values. Without careful consideration and structure, what is supposed to be a joyous reunion of loved ones can turn into a contentious and argumentative event. You do not want to worry about if a holiday occasion will turn into a family war,…

“Don’t be angry.” “You should always be happy.” “You shouldn’t let other people know when you are sad.” “It’s not okay to feel like this.” “I shouldn’t be feeling this way.” Emotions are often categorized into either good or bad and there is often also a judgment based on the label given. Typically, such emotions as anger, jealously, sadness, or frustration are considered “bad,” while emotions such as happiness, joy, love, or excited are considered “good.” However,…

The holidays are just around the corner, and we all know what that means: time for political discussions and arguments over turkey and stuffing. This year will be especially difficult after the results of the election. Our country is more divided than the majority of us realized, which may make for some stressful times ahead in regard to family gatherings. It is especially difficult to discuss political differences among family members since there is a deep and unconditional love among most families, and it can be hard to reconcile loving someone so much while having opposite political beliefs and values. This election also feels a lot more personal to most of us, which adds an extra layer of emotions around it. I have found that many of my clients (in individual and couples therapy) are discussing their apprehension and stress about the holidays due to fear of political arguments. While navigating the holidays can be difficult and stressful, here are some tips and tools to feel better prepared

“Everything can be taken away from a person but one thing: to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way” -Viktor Frankl, “Man’s Search for Meaning” We sometimes find ourselves in deep sadness, despair, disappointment, and question why it is happening. When our children are diagnosed with incurable diseases, when our best friend is in a car accident, when our parent is diagnosed with cancer, when we lose our jobs, when…

I often hear comments and complaints from clients regarding their hesitations and apprehensions to be themselves, do or say what they want or are feeling, and struggle with being themselves in every area and relationship in their lives. They feel like they have to say what the other person wants to hear, act a certain way, do what others want or are interested in, put on an act in certain situations, or even have different personalities or…

The average single person is currently online or mobile dating or has tried it before. It has become less stigmatized and has become the number one way that people are meeting their partners today. However, even with these statistics, I often work with people in individual therapy who are no longer interested in online or mobile dating or who are wary of trying it. I often hear clients discuss how it’s difficult to meet someone you have…

It is probably no surprise to you that many couples seek couples therapy to work on their communication skills as well as to learn tools on how to argue better and more effectively. However, what is not talked about as often is how difficult it is to break old patterns of communication. How we communicate and process, especially during an argument, has been deeply ingrained in us from childhood, past relationships, and so forth. Do we become…