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Couple therapists talk a lot about the importance of creating quality time for your relationship. What often gets less attention is the equally high value of establishing time for yourself. There is great variability in the balance of independence within romantic relationships. Partners will not always share the same preferred dose of dependency, and it is a task for any relationship to communicate openly about each other’s needs and develop a dynamic that respects both preferences. It…

People are creatures of habit. An ability to go on autopilot helps us conserve energy and stay alert to the unfamiliar. In relationships, it is our responsibility to remain attentive and proactive in nurturing our partner’s needs and addressing any problematic habits that may form slowly over time. Here is an overview of potentially problematic symptoms that can develop in intimate relationships. Use your increased awareness to take control and purposefully establish healthy relationship dynamics. 1. Keeping…

“How do I find a therapist?” “What makes him/her good?” “What should I research about them?” “What’s the most important thing to know about finding a therapist?” “How will I know if this therapist can help me or not?” As a mental health therapist, I am often asked questions like these from friends, family, colleagues, or even initial clients when considering or starting therapy. Most people believe that there are certain criteria or a checklist to have…

“Calm down.” “Just relax.” “Don’t worry about it.” “Stop stressing out.” “It will be fine.” “Don’t get so upset.” We have all probably been told these phrases, or something similar, by another person when we were angry, anxious, or stressed. We may even ourselves be guilty of saying them to another person. But did it help? Most likely not at all, and more likely it just made us, or the other person, angrier, more anxious, or even…

We all have times in our lives, sometimes more than we want, when we are asked to do something, give something, or help with something that we don’t want to but yet we say yes anyway. There are somethings we do or agree to because it will help someone, make them happy, or it is a fair compromise, and does not have a negative impact on our emotions or well-being. But what about those times when you…

Wedding season is upon us once again. Many view weddings as a time to celebrate, honor one’s love and commitment to their partner, bring family and friends together, and be a happy time for all involved. But there is a dark side to weddings that is often not talked about or is ignored, and that is the financial pressure it puts on all. Weddings are a costly event. The individuals getting married usually prepare in advance, have…

Although it would be ideal to always be moving forward, succeeding, reaching our goals, or improving, setbacks will and do occur. It is naïve to think that you will never have a setback, problem, or failure in your life. The key is how we react to them and overcome them that will ultimately determine if we will continue to be successful and move forward or if we will give up and quit. Setbacks and failures can happen…

“I can’t deal with my parents, I just don’t know how to talk to them, all we do is fight.” “I found out my girlfriend is using drugs and I want to help her.” “My son is not motivated or interested in anything, I don’t know what to do.” “My partner is spending way too much money and it is really stressing me out.” “My family is crazy, I just can’t deal with them anymore.” “My best…

Technology is everywhere. From cellphones to tablets to computers and television, it is inevitable that technology somehow interferes with your intimate relationship. This is because, like your need for quality time or your preference for an organized household, you and your partner will differ on your preferences for technology use and what qualifies as improper interference. The influence of technology is not going away, so it is important that you find a way to make it an…

Per Wikipedia, “In sociology and psychology, self-esteem reflects a person’s overall subjective emotional evaluation of his or her own worth” and per dicitionary.com, self-worth is defined as “the sense of one’s own value or worth as a person; self-esteem; self-respect.” In contrast, one’s net-worth is measured by the combination of what one owns, their assets, and what one owes, their liabilities. A person’s net-worth is a snap-shot picture of their current financial situation and overall monetary value.…