“How Do You Remember That?”
For me, it often happens out of nowhere. I’ll be working on something or listening to music on the train, and something triggers a memory. The memory could be from 10 days ago, or 15 years ago, but I find myself paying attention to that memory for a while, wondering where it came from and…
Read MoreThe Problem of Why: How to Avoid the Trap Excuses Make
Steven Topper, LCPC When telling people you’re feeling down, or anxious, or just not quite right, how often are you responded to with one specific, difficult question: Why? This can feel like a ridiculous, uncomfortable question mostly because of what it is really asking. When people (parents, siblings, friends, significant others, coworkers) ask this, underneath…
Read MoreGetting Unstuck From Our Stories
Steven Topper, LCPC We’ve all seen this Dad before: It’s the 1950’s, he comes home from work where his family is waiting, and everyone follows his orders. That’s because this man demands respect. We could venture to guess that in his constant quest to fulfill the story I Must Be Respected, he probably actually feels…
Read More4 Risks of the Infidelity Trap
After a review of the latest research on affair risks for committed relationships (those that are exclusive sexually and romantically), the most thought-provoking discovery was not the research itself. Instead, it was the presentation of the infidelity statistics as “highly variable” and having much “uncertainty.” As an example, when consolidating research findings, Gottman (2017) notes…
Read MoreDenying Yourself Pleasure: Why We Do It and How to Stop
I work with many clients who struggle with anxiety or depression related to many reasons whether it is due to their personal or professional life. My job as their clinical therapist is to help clients understand possible reasons/triggers that are causing their anxiety and/or depression, and then possible coping strategies to help. After several sessions…
Read MoreBecoming Positive: 8 Tools for Building Happiness
Life is not always easy. When we experience struggles and suffering, our psyche feels it too. Adverse events take a toll on our mental health and challenge our ability to cope; our inability to cope can get us stuck in a cycle of pessimism and constant stress. We will all experience darker, gloomier days throughout…
Read MoreSatisfaction v. Perfection
From a very young age, children are taught to strive to be the best. Not the best versions of themselves but the best. Period. As they get older, teachers, parents, and society puts immense pressure on individuals to get straight As, excel at standardized testing, participate in extra-curricular activities, volunteer, and then, just maybe you’ll…
Read MoreUnhealthy Communication Patterns
Madissyn Fredericks, Licensed Professional Counselor It is likely that most relationships could use some help when it comes to communication. No one always responds perfectly, always agrees, or listens the way they need to during every conversation and that’s normal. The thing is, many couples engage in unhealthy communication all the time and do not…
Read MoreThe Relationship Between Identifying One’s Emotions and Preventing Depression
As we transition and develop through different stages of life our ability to identify and communicate the emotions we may be feeling fluctuates. Although it may seem counterintuitive, at a young age we typically have a high ability to identify and express our feelings, which decreases through adolescence. When an individual is able to recognize…
Read MoreSetting Healthy Boundaries With Family
Madissyn Fredericks, Licensed Professional Counselor Sometimes those we are closest to are the ones who are most difficult to set boundaries with, and family is no exception. Our family usually knows how to cheer us up, motivate us, and care for us, however, sometimes they also know how to hurt us. Even if your family…
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