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We all build our lives around a variety of expectations. Societal pressures, cultural norms, and even family values shape who we think we ought to be and the life we ought to have. We say to ourselves (consciously or unconsciously), “I should be in a relationship by now,” or “I should be able to do this (work, parenting, etc.) better,” and even, “My husband should know what I want even when I do not say something about…
Read MoreDo you have worry thoughts that create anxiety? Do your emotions get in the way of communicating or effective decision making? Do you live in the past or the future? Do you act impulsively? Is it difficult for you to focus on tasks because your mind wanders? If the answer is yes to any of these questions, mindfulness can help. What is mindfulness? It is a mental state achieved by focusing one’s awareness on the present moment,…
Read MoreMany of us take time off of work during the summer to get away, disconnect from work, and spend time with the ones we love. We often feel more in touch with ourselves and our relationships when we take this time to be together. Once the long summer days fade away, however, it can feel like we enter a slump where the work days take over again, and the time when spend with our partners and loved…
Read MoreIn a society that promotes individuality, it is sometimes forgotten we are part of something larger than ourselves. We are part of a family. Each family is unique with it’s own structure and interactions. Families are powerful. They influence our beliefs, behaviors and even our personality. Family therapy looks at the whole, not just the individual, to improve better family and individual functioning. Problems are addressed at the source, the family, by bringing parents and children together,…
Read MoreHow often are you checking your email, text messages, Twitter or Facebook account on your phone throughout the day? Do you feel disconnected if your phone is not by your side, chirping with every new update? While there is the increased convenience and connectivity our cell phones and computers can bring us, it can also distract us from the personal, face-to-face time with the people we love the most. Nothing can replace the kind of communication you…
Read MoreIt might be surprising to know that research suggests that it is not how much you fight that predicts happiness and success in your relationship, but rather it is how you fight that really matters. Indeed, not all fights are created equal. There is conflict that can generate disconnection and destroy good will between you and your partner, but there is also the kind of conflict that moves you closer together and further along in the development…
Read MoreWhen you and your partner argue, it can sometimes feel like you have no choice but to react. When she gets defensive, so do you. And you just can’t stand it when he walks away from you, so you yell a little louder in order to make sure he is really listening. Indeed, our partners can unwittingly trigger our most tender, vulnerable spots, making it difficult to keep cool and think logically. However, these automatic reactions may…
Read MoreAlthough depression is a problem for many people, it has typically been understood as an issue that occurs more often in women. Indeed, statistics have indicated that, over the course of their lifetimes, women are about 70% more likely than men to have an episode of major depression. But what if we reconsidered how we think about depression and how it manifests? Results from a recent study suggest that when externalizing symptoms like rage, substance abuse, and…
Read MoreDo you and your partner know what works and what doesn’t when it comes to managing your conflict? You both may attempt to solve your problems or resolve conflict in a variety of ways, although sometimes it can seem that the things you try end up failing, even if they feel like a good idea in the moment. Sometimes, the strategies you use may even entrench you deeper into the problems you are trying to resolve. Your…
Read MoreIt is not always easy to communicate well with your partner, and it is more complicated than simply an exchange of words. Communicating with your partner is about relating to him or her; it is about two people openly sharing who they are with one another in ways that are not critical or judgmental. It can be difficult, however, to say what you mean or share what you are feeling, especially when you know that what you…
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