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Like women suffer as a result of society’s Madonna-whore complex, I believe that men also experience a contradictory prejudice—something of a “hero-wimp” complex. Men are expected to be strong, infallible, and stoic. When we think of a good dad, we imagine him playing sports, fixing the plumbing and chasing our ex-boyfriends with a shotgun. But women also desperately want men to be emotional—which contradicts this desire for a “hero”. We say, “ I want you to be…
Read MoreMindfulness is to psychology as CrossFit is to exercise. It is a current popular trend that leads to positive results, and you have probably heard or read about it before. Practicing mindfulness techniques allows you to be a better, more regulated, calmer, and focused individual. Mindfulness can also significantly improve your relationships. Here is a brief overview of mindfulness and how it is beneficial for intimate relationships. What is Mindfulness? Mindfulness is presence. The essence of mindfulness…
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People all have their insecurities, even (or especially) those who appear the most confident. Suffering from the burden of insecurity can silence you when you want to be heard, engender painful feelings of shame, ignite anger and jealousy, and cause doubts and overthinking. Your goal should not be to get rid of insecurities, because that is not realistic, but to manage those feelings so that they do not hinder you from living boldly. Here are some signs…
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For most, the late teen years and twenties are a time of incredible change. Typically, you finish your schooling, look for and begin a job, move out of your family home, and maybe even relocate to a new town or city. While this may all seem exciting and full of opportunity, it also can carry with it a vast array of stressors and challenges. In fact, it is not uncommon for someone to experience his or her…
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“Half of all marriages or more will end in divorce!” is the cry heard throughout our country since the 1970’s. Census polls tell us that over half of all marriages end in divorce — not a romantic concept for most couples. Many blame the cultural influence of the hopeless romantic and happily-ever-after model of marriage portrayed in Hollywood; others note the significance in marrying for love rather than necessity, a cultural shift from decades and centuries ago.…
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The art of a good apology is difficult to perfect, and is not a widely known or practiced craft. Apologies are very vulnerable- it requires that you humble yourself to another person. It may be embarrassing to own up to your wrongs, causing you to want to talk about it as little as possible and hope it goes away. You may feel like apologizing to someone will give the person some power over you, or make you…
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The end of a romantic relationship can be like riding a roller coaster of emotions. Depending on the circumstances, you may be feeling relieved, heart-broken, resentful, or shocked. It may seem like the road ahead is unclear for you, and it can be difficult to know how to “get past” this difficult time in your life. It is easy to focus on the negatives at this stage. Although it may feel insurmountable, you can help yourself to…
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It may seem like kids these days speak a whole different language. They have been raised in the 2000’s- the era of Facebook, texting, and Instagram. However, just like teens have always been for centuries, the last people they seem to want to talk to are their parents. This can make it doubly hard to figure out how to talk to your teen about important issues, day to day life, feelings, etc. The teen years can be…
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It’s that time of the year when the sun sets in the afternoon for many of us who live in northern states. For some, this heavy, cold darkness impacts them only insofar that they turn on their headlights on the commute home. For others, it can beckon a desire to stay under the covers until the sun shines again in a few months. In fact, about 6% of Americans deals with something beyond the winter blues. They…
Read MoreIf you’re considering divorce or have already made the difficult decision to divorce in Illinois, you’re probably aware that there are many options available to you. You can choose to hire an attorney and head to court. You can choose collaborative divorce or to try to do it yourself. Or, you can choose mediation. But, exactly what is divorce mediation? And more importantly, how does it benefit you to use it? What is divorce mediation? Divorce mediation…
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