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We often receive the message that fighting is bad. It feels unpleasant, it can hurt others’n feelings, and it often turns us into angry, hurtful people we do not even recognize. It is true that conflict can be harmful, but it also serves a pivotal role in healthy relationship functioning. Without conflict, partners would either have no major differences, which would feel boring and unfulfilling, or they would have no way to directly resolve their differences. Conflict…

Think about money. What is the first word or words that come to mind? Does your word or words include power, success, protection, security, independence, love, or freedom? Or maybe oppression, control, manipulation, anxiety, stress, or avoidance? Many of us have a pretty strong reaction to money and the meaning it holds for us. It can be either positive or negative, or even possibly both depending on the situation, personal experiences, family history and what was taught…

There are certain habits, situations, characteristics, thoughts, beliefs, opinions, etc. within ourselves and our lives that we have control over and are able to improve, change, or stop. But there is also a significant amount, especially when other people are involved, that we do not have control over or are unable to change or stop. We can do whatever it takes to try to change ourselves, the situations, or other people, maybe with some success, but most…

We all have certain views, opinions, and beliefs about money that influence our thoughts, behaviors, and emotions around spending, saving, debt, worth, and our relationship with money. During our lives we have come to form these beliefs based on what we were taught within our families growing up, often passed down from generation to generation, our own personal experiences, societal views and opinions, and social influences. In Financial Therapy, these assumptions or views about money are referred…

Black or white. All or nothing. Right or wrong. Left or right. Yes or no. Republican or Democrat. Rich or poor. City or country. And that’s just the tip of the iceberg. The world is full of dichotomies, situations, and labels in which there appear to be only two options available, where we feel we have to pick one or the other and stick to it. But in reality there is a whole spectrum or range of…

Let’s be honest, we need money to live. Even the basic functions of living: air, water, and food, require some amount of money and spending to be able to obtain them and maintain our lives. Add in the need for clothing and shelter and there is no way one can argue that money isn’t a key component of and a necessity of life. We may not want to acknowledge it or give money such “power,” but it is a basic fact of life. Despite the inherent necessity of money in our lives, we treat it like a dirty little secret, a horrible habit, or a disgusting disease that we refuse to acknowledge or talk about. Why is money considered such a taboo topic to talk about overall, and even with people close to us or in confidential settings?

Couple therapists talk a lot about the importance of creating quality time for your relationship. What often gets less attention is the equally high value of establishing time for yourself. There is great variability in the balance of independence within romantic relationships. Partners will not always share the same preferred dose of dependency, and it is a task for any relationship to communicate openly about each other’s needs and develop a dynamic that respects both preferences. It…

People are creatures of habit. An ability to go on autopilot helps us conserve energy and stay alert to the unfamiliar. In relationships, it is our responsibility to remain attentive and proactive in nurturing our partner’s needs and addressing any problematic habits that may form slowly over time. Here is an overview of potentially problematic symptoms that can develop in intimate relationships. Use your increased awareness to take control and purposefully establish healthy relationship dynamics. 1. Keeping…