Steven Topper
Steven Topper, LCPC It’s no secret that successful romantic relationships are as difficult as anything we face in our lives. Divorce rates support the notion that loving someone deeply is really hard work. While it’s not uncommon for us to feel stuck, unsupported, frustrated, and lost within our relationships, a set of skills called psychological flexibility may hold keys to enriching, enlivening, and deepening our romantic relationships. There are key components to psychological flexibility and below…
Read MoreSteven Topper LCPC More and more, the stigma around seeking counseling is decreasing, and the willingness of people to begin therapeutic relationships is increasing. Within these cultural changes to how we talk about, accept, and understand therapy, I have noticed that often on social media there is a thread of discussion around therapy as an agent of good. And, as a clinician myself, I find hope and joy in this conversation. Yet I’ve also noticed that within…
Read More
Steven Topper, LCPC In her article on acceptance-based strategies and their long-term outcomes, Lila MacLellan asserts that the path to psychological well being is tied directly to acceptance. This may be something that has long been in the zeitgeist of Eastern cultures, as we can often cite ancient poets (MacLellan cites Rumi’s poem “The Guest House”, see below) for their depth of understanding around acceptance. Yet it’s mostly evaded our Western culture for a few notable reasons.…
Read More
Steven Topper, LCPC On 1.3.2020, an esteemed colleague wrote a blog on the pitfalls of uncertainty. In it, Gideon describes how uncertainty can lead to self-sabotage through limiting beliefs about ourselves and offered strategies to help mitigate these beliefs. In response, it could be helpful to explore how leaning in to uncertainty may actually be beneficial for us in the long run, and how allowing for ambiguity to exist in our lives may offer directions toward richer,…
Read More
Steven Topper, LCPC My depression is too bad to leave the house. This anxiety is crippling me. Every time you do that I get overcome with anger and lash out. I can’t handle this. Each of these statements have a few things in common. One is that they’ve likely been said by many people, especially those of us suffering with immense pain in our lives. Each statement may look or feel slightly different, but they share this…
Read More
Steven Topper, LCPC In recent years, a common and basic human behavior has come under scrutiny: attention seeking behavior. We hear this in many contexts, almost always negative: Oh, she’s just doing that for attention. People that engage in attention seeking behavior are often ostracized and told to knock it off. It could be beneficial for us to dive deeper into what this phrase truly means. We may be demonizing something that is fundamental to us humans,…
Read More
Steven Topper, LCPC For many of us, we know what we want: family, success, esteem, love — this list could go on forever. Many of us also find that when we get these things, they aren’t quite what we expected. Finally got that promotion and it’s not as glamorous as you thought? Get married and your partner still has all their issues you already know about (the audacity!)? It can be incredibly deflating to work so hard…
Read More
Steven Topper, LCPC As we move toward the end of Summer, so many of us look back on the past few months and think: I wish I could bottle that up. Doesn’t it seem like there’s so much to do during those precious few beautiful months? Outdoors, socializing, exploration – it can feel like the city opens up in unique ways for a few months. And then we turn ahead with worry, here we go again, winter.…
Read More
Steven Topper, LCPC When telling people you’re feeling down, or anxious, or just not quite right, how often are you responded to with one specific, difficult question: Why? This can feel like a ridiculous, uncomfortable question mostly because of what it is really asking. When people (parents, siblings, friends, significant others, coworkers) ask this, underneath it is a request to prove it. When people ask us why we’re feeling a certain way, on a deeper level is…
Read MoreSteven Topper, LCPC We’ve all seen this Dad before: It’s the 1950’s, he comes home from work where his family is waiting, and everyone follows his orders. That’s because this man demands respect. We could venture to guess that in his constant quest to fulfill the story I Must Be Respected, he probably actually feels respected very little in his life. Constantly reaching to be respected, seldom feeling respected. And yet, this story colors every interaction with…
Read More- « Previous
- 1
- 2
- 3
- Next »
Do You Need Help?
Not what you were looking for?